Adventures By Aaron

Nuevo Vallarta

2012-02-07T10:56:00.002-05:00

In what has become a Mexico tradition, we once again spent TJ’s birthday weekend on the beaches of tourist-laden Vallarta.

Only this time it wasn’t Puerto Vallarta, but nearby Nuevo Vallarta instead, that called our names.

Puerto Vallarta, the beach/hotel/resort getaway of choice for many Mexicans (as well as Americans and Canadians!) has gotten too big for it’s britches in recent years, and the solution was to set up a residential & resort community 15 miles to the north on the adjacent shorelines of the state of Nayarit.

Whereas Puerto Vallarta is filled with old hotels, restaurants, and homes, many of which are in need of maintenance but are nevertheless worth visiting for the historical element (and let's face it, party atmosphere) alone, Nuevo Vallarta was created merely to be a one-stop shopping experience for today’s R&R-minded traveller.

The beach is lined with sparkly, shiny, all-inclusive resorts, and we opted for one of three (three!) Riu resorts, dubbed Riu Jalisco (Never mind the fact that we were in Nayarit).

Joining us on this three-day weekend was our friend Sergio (Yeyo), with whom I had recently attended the Selena Gomez concert. He was replacing our other friend Sergio (confusing, much?), who himself was back in town for a quick vacation from his home in Mexicali. We previously visited Tesoro Resort with him, and he had been looking forward to this weekend for months but had to cancel last minute due to bronchitis. I saw him a couple of days before we left, and he looked a hot mess. Hope you feel better soon, amigo! Actually, since I’m writing this six days later, I hope you’re all better NOW. Otherwise, go to the doctor, cuz you might be dying.

Sergio #1’s loss was Sergio # 2’s gain, as Riu Jalisco was a drastic improvement over Tesoro. The food was better, and more plentiful. The rooms were cleaner. The drinks were sweeter (not everyone’s preference, but they were just plain bitter at Tesoro, which is NOONE’S preference). The evening entertainment was less campy, and highly enjoyable.

I don’t want to speak too poorly of Tesoro, because we did have fun there. Of course, it was our first all-inclusive experience so we had nothing to judge it by. Now, we do. On second thought, our recent stay at a no-inclusive hotel in Manzanillo was better than Tesoro as well, so maybe Tesoro wasn’t all that great to begin with.

The weekend in Nuevo Vallarta was spent in perfect laziness. Mornings on the beach and afternoons by the pool interrupted only by our need to eat and sleep. I read most of Ricky Martin’s memoir, Me, which I’m hating so much that it will probably get its own blog post once I’ve finished it just so I can talk about how vile it is. We turned on the Super Bowl just long enough to watch Madonna’s Halftime Show…and then quickly made for the Internet to see what people had to say about it. Y’all are nasty. Give the woman a break, she’s in her 50’s! Okay, the new song and the cheerleader motif were a bit tacky and that trashy M.I.A. shouldn’t have flipped the bird…But the rest was rockin’.

We spent one evening in the resort’s nightclub, but it was so boring (i.e. full of old grannies) and smelly (THINK: feet or poop or used feminine hygiene products or maybe all three) that we decided to head into Puerto Vallarta proper the following evening for a true night on the town. Our final evening was spent dining at the resort’s churrascuria, where our table caught on fire. We suspect arson. Or maybe it was for show. Either way, it made the food taste delicious!

All told, it was an excellent weekend.

My only regret is that I am writing this blog from the Guadalajara International Airport, where I await a flight to Houston that will allow me to be with my mother as she undergoes a minor medical procedure tomorrow. It is my parents’ first health scare since I left Texas nine years ago, and I feel that it is important that I be there for them. They are both scared, and I want them to know that no matter where the Foreign Service takes us, I can, and will, be there when they need me.

I just wish I was leaving tomorrow instead, because today is TJ’s actual birthday. He assured me that it was fine, and that he had all the fun he needed over the weekend, but I still feel guilty for not being there this evening. And so, I end this blog with the one thing he wanted but did not receive this weekend, the Mexican Birthday song:

Feliz cumpleaños, mi amor. Ya te extraño.

Selena Gomez & the Scene: We Own The Night

2012-01-28T14:04:00.017-05:00

Oh, how times have changed. In May of last year we were "forced" to spend a week in Mexico City when security concerns in Mexico prevented us from being able to attend the Guadalajara leg of Ricky Martin's Música + Alma + Sexo tour.

Last night I found myself in the very arena that eight months ago was out of reach, travelrestrictions having now been lifted.

Arena V.F.G. (Named after famed Mexican singer Vicente Fernández Gómez) is an indoor concert and sports venue located on the outskirts of the city, just past the Guadalajara International Airport. Okay, well, indoor is a bit of a misnomer. It really looks more like an outdoor rodeo arena that had a metal frame constructed over the top that was then covered with siding from Sears.

That description alone should make you think that the acoustics aren't the best. It's not bad, though. It's terrible. It won't hinder the concert-going experience for someone familiar with the artist, and who plans to sing along merrily. Those that like to go and experience new music will find themselves sorely disappointed however, as they will be unable to appreciate much of the music or lyrics through the echoes and feedback. Fortunately, I fell into the former category.

Selena Gomez & the Scene arrived...on the scene (ha! wordplay!)...last night to entertain a crowd of 12,000+ teenaged girls and gay men with an impressive set list of twenty of their greatest hits.

Okay, okay, so they've only had seven singles. They're enjoyable singles, though, and all seven were present last night. The rest of the show was filled out with entertaining songs that you'd a least be familiar with if you had given the CD's a once- or twice-over.

Main Set:

"A Year Without Rain" "Hit the Lights" "Round & Round"

"Love You Like a Love Song" "Spotlight" "Bang Bang Bang"

"When the Sun Goes Down" "Intuition" "We Own the Night"

"The House That Built Me" "Falling Down" "Super Bass" (Nicki Minaj Cover)

"Rock God" "Middle of Nowhere" "My Dilemma"

"Off the Chain" "Whiplash"

"Tell Me Something I Don't Know" "Naturally"

Encore:

"Who Says"

TJ did not join me for this evening of tweenaged entertainment. Despite being an avid A-Teens fan, he felt this was a little too adolescent even for him. Fortunately, our friend Yeyo had no such misgivings. We had a great time singing, dancing, and making fun of teenaged girls that scream at anything that sparkles and/or moves on stage.

I don't care that she's 19 years old and people make fun of me for liking teen pop. Selena Gomez is a beautiful young woman with an undeniable vocal talent. She's a Disney kid after all. The mouse doesn't mess around.

I've never seen Wizards of Waverly Place, the Disney Channel program that gave her her big break. I hadn't even listened to much of her music before I decided that I wanted to go to this show. But I loved her anyway.

I loved her because when we arrived in Falls Church and began our new lives in the Foreign Service, her single, "Naturally," was a staple in every bar and club. It's such a youthful, innocent, playful tune, and it really stood out from both the snobbery of the club scene and the self-indulgence of most artists on the airwaves.

I loved her more when we arrived in Guadalajara almost a year later and discovered that "Naturally" was a staple in every bar and club here, too. I'm not sure how it happened, but I've had Selena Gomez songs dedicated to me no less than three times in the last year. Ridiculous, but kinda cute.

We'll discover what our onward assignment is soon. We have no idea where we're going, what language we will have to learn, what type of people we will meet.

But everything will be okay. Naturally.

Guadalajara's Top 20, Number 9: The Guadalajara Cathedral

2012-01-23T09:32:00.014-05:00

Okay, my faithful readers, it's confession time. Which is appropriate, I suppose, as today's topic is the Guadalajara Cathedral.

The confession is simple: I don't want to write this blog post. Now let's be clear: I have no problem inserting photos and comments about Christian houses of worship into my musings about towns we have visited during our many travels, or even taking a friendly jab at one every now and again. What I am opposed to is focusing my efforts on Christian churches when I would feel far more comfortable chronicling stories of Jewish synagogues. Alas, the two synagogues in Guadalajara are quite private, and not that photogenic. At least I think there are two. If there's another, it's VERY private.

[Fun Fact: I just Googled "synagogue Guadalajara" to check my facts, and this link was number three on the list. While cool for me, it does seem to indicate the lack of a strong Jewish presence in the city (especially since that particular post wasn't even about Judaism). In fact, statistics (i.e. Wikipedia) show that there are only 250 or so Jewish families in Guadalajara, split between the Modern Orthodox and Conservative branches of the faith.]

With that said, our Top 20 list included the cathedral, so I am honor-bound to write about it.

The cathedral has a long history mired with troubles. Construction was completed in 1618, seventy years after the region was declared a diocese by the Holy See and forty-four years after a fire destroyed parts of the previous cathedral.

Two hundred years later, an earthquake caused the dome and towers to collapse. The replacement components were themselves destroyed by yet another earthquake in 1849. Although the damaged portions of the building were once again redesigned and reconstructed, no fewer than six additional earthquakes plagued the cathedral over the new 162 years, resulting in the current structural damage to the dome and the slight lean of the north tower.

The cathedral, aka Cathedral of the Assumption of Our Lady, aka La Catedral de Guadalajara, aka Catedral de la Asunción de María Santísima, is a city staple. Taking up a space of approx. 255 x 239 ft², the building dominates the city's historical center. Stylized renderings of the cathedral's spires can be found on the trunk of every taxi cab and in the logo of a national pharmacy chain. When the Pan American games were being heavily promoted last year, much of that marketing found itself in close proximity to Our Lady. When Los Gigantes visited the city, their parade route led them down a path that ensured their passing by the church. Anytime I find myself playing tour guide to a visiting friend or a new coworker, we inevitably end up here. When looking for the perfect photo to grace the cover of a recently published guide for American citizens living in Guadalajara that I served as editor for, I could think of nothing more representative of the city than an aerial view of downtown with this church as a focal point.

There is not doubt, whether it be due to the dominance of Catholicism in local culture, the building's prime location in the historic district, or both, that The Guadalajara Cathedral is a bustling nexus of activity for the city's residents and visitors alike.

The Guadalajara Cathedral is located in Centro Historico at #10 Avenida Alcalde, between Hidalgo and Morelos.

Manzanillo

2012-01-19T13:58:00.016-05:00

Waaayyyy back in August, TJ and I joined a couple of friends for a weekend getaway at Tesoro Resort in Manzanillo. As fun as the weekend was, I never quite felt like I actually saw Manzanillo, as we spent the entire time at our all-inclusive.

I’ve wanted to rectify this ever since, and last weekend we finally booked ourselves a nothing-inclusive hotel on the beach.

Was it everything I hoped it would be? Well, to give you an idea, this was a typical conversation in the days leading up to our weekend getaway:

Friend: Doing anything this weekend?

Me: Yep! We’re going to Manzanillo.

Friend: Great! What resort are you staying at?

Me: No resort this time. I want to actually see the city, so we just booked normal hotel.

Friend: Oh…

I must have had that same conversation at least three times, and let me tell you, after visiting Manzanillo sans resort, my nose was crinkling, too.

Manzanillo is not what you would call a pretty town. Although tourism is an important industry, you can tell that it plays second fiddle to trade: The docks were overrun with merchant ships and fishing vessels. The downtown historical center is not without promise, but it could definitely use a couple of coats of paint. Something I’ve noticed about every village, town, or city in Mexico is the plethora of dining options. You can’t throw a rock without hitting a restaurant, fruit cart, or taco stand of some kind. Except in tourist-heavy Manzanillo, where dining options are inexplicably limited.

I do give credit where credit is due, and gladly share the following:

1) El Vaquero is a steakhouse well worth your time. They understand that us gringos like chips and salsa and they offer a nice variety. Their guacamole is good, their tortillas are fresh, and they serve up the best fajitas I’ve had since leaving the US (Please note: Fajitas appear to be more of an American dish, making this more a comment about me and less an insult to Mexican culinary ability).

2) The Burger King here appears to be the only one in Mexico capable of filling an order correctly.

3) Camino Real serves up a mean club sandwich smothered in egg salad.

The nightlife is miserably nonexistent. We were only able to find one club that might appeal to us, which as fortune would have it was a few blocks from our hotel. We arrived a little after 10PM to find maybe a dozen others inside. An hour later and not much had changed. We also couldn’t decide, before or after entering, whether this was a gay or straight bar. I don’t think anybody else new either. This might account for the utter lack of dancing, despite uncomfortable, desperately awkward pleas from the bar staff.

The one really cool thing about the city was this little artisan market that had been set up for the weekend beside the local Wal-Mart. We discovered the market by sheer accident on a toiletries run...since neither one of us bothered to pack that particular bag. Among the dozens of booths we found a vendor selling alebrije, a popular art style from Oaxaca that consists of hand carving animals from copal wood and then painting them in the most beautifully elaborate design schemes. We've seen this art style everywhere but had been holding off on making a purchase until we were able to visit Oaxaca itself. Sadly, as our time in Mexico draws to a close, we've realized that this particular trip will just have to wait for another time. Since this vendor had the most beautiful examples of the art we've seen yet, this was the perfect opportunity to buy.

It may sound at this point as if, other than the market, we hated the weekend, but I assure you that this is not the case. I merely wanted to be able to fully express how much I value the beach-hotel combo experience in Manzanillo. Despite any agitation I may have experienced in the city, our lodging at Camino Real was pure comfort.

We found ourselves in a suite, complete with kitchen and dining room, living room, and two full bed/bathrooms. We had a small balcony that overlooked the beach and pool deck. There were multiple pools and Jacuzzis to choose from, which the staff gladly let us use after hours. I think they were just happy to have guests, as this appears to be the down season (as evidenced but the killer rate we got on the room).

They provided us with deck chairs and a large umbrella, and we spent quality time together reading on the beach, listening to music, and splashing around in the ocean. The water did turn brown and frothy one afternoon, but I can’t blame the hotel for that, as it was the red tide rolling in, and I certainly couldn’t say whether or not the same scenario played out on the other side of the cove at the all-inclusives. Regardless, I was out of the water by then, so you’ll hear no complaints from me.

Our final morning saw us waking at dawn to watch the sun rise over the Pacific. Leaning out the window, we quickly saw that we weren’t alone. A small fishing boat and its hardworking crew were battling the gulls, pelicans, and ducks for the day’s fish haul. We found ourselves migrating to the beach to watch in fascination as this hour-long spectacle played out. Our excitement slowly morphed to sadness as it became obvious that those fish unfortunate enough to come ashore prior to the main net being tied off would die for nothing. Drying out on the beach surrounded by fisherman too lazy to throw them in with the main haul, these fish would simply be abandoned to…I don’t know what. Maybe the birds will take them later. I’m by no means a vegetarian (see fajita comment) but I do think if you’re going to kill something you should at least make use of it.

Okay, sorry. I’m stepping off of the soapbox now.

Long story short, I love this town…if looking out of an ocean-facing window from my (preferably all-inclusive) hotel room. I feel that most people must surely agree.

As I sat down today to write this blog, I had to think of all the cruise ships that visit Manzanillo over the course of a year. The beaches and accompanying hotels and restaurants are generally nice, but the city itself is lacking in …well, just about everything. What could those ships actually sell you as an excursion? Certainly not a night at a resort, as that’s someone else’s gimmick. I did some snooping around on cruise line websites, but didn’t find much to write home about. When I visited Yahoo! Travel, this is what I found:

…

…yep. That’s about right.

Guadalajara's Top 20, Number 8: Mercado San Juan de Dios (...and Pickles)

2012-01-13T19:26:00.009-05:00

Clocking in at over 13,000 ft², Guadalajara's San Juan de Dios market can easily call itself one of the largest indoor markets in Mexico.

The market was designed by Austrian architect Alejandro Zohn (1930-2000), a Holocaust survivor who immigrated to Mexico during childhood and studied both engineering and architecture at the University of Guadalajara.

The market, which opened on December 30, 1958, features almost 3,000 vendors that work 365 days a year selling a wide variety of items, including:

Clothing

Wallets, handbags, and other accessories

CDs, DVDs, Blu-Rays, and video games (most having a slightly...bootleg...quality about them)

Toys

Kitchenware

Fresh meats

Produce

Candy, nuts, and spices

Birds (yes, live birds)

The market is broken up into three levels. On the top floor you will find the majority of the clothing and home entertainment items. The second floor is a maze of food vendors selling typical Mexican cuisine that smells and looks delicious. The bottom floor is where you can stock up on fresh produce and sweets (and birds...but don't worry, they're kept separate). That bottom floor is where we found ourselves last Saturday.

I've been to the market several times, just to browse, and always find myself disoriented by the sheer enormity of it all. But last Saturday we were on a mission. You see, my dear TJ had decided that it was finally time that we start canning and preserving our own fruits and vegetables. All we needed was a ginormous enamel and/or stainless steel pot and several pounds of cucumbers and tomatoes. Bet you thought we needed a parrot, didn't you?

For as long as I've known him, TJ has had no hobbies. Or rather, he has had no hobbies that cost us any money. And yet he patiently (sometimes. usually. for the most part.) sits by while I feed my addictions for books, comic books, music, movies, and all things He-Man. Very rarely does TJ decide he wants a hobby that costs us money, but even when he does it's usually something that will bring value to us both.

Like the last time, when he decided that he just had to have a sewing machine. One horrid looking terry cloth robe later, and that's all she wrote. I don't even know where the sewing machine is, and I'd bet he doesn't, either. But that was almost three years ago. So if he wanted a stock pot, he could have his stock pot.

After a quick stop by the market for a stock pot and some chile peppers, we headed over to Mercado de Abastos (maybe the subject of a future blog) to scope out their produce. We found some awesome cucumbers and tomatoes and were soon on our way home to act like country folk.

Step One: Boil Jars to Disinfect

Step Two: Make Pickle Juice

Step Three: Stuff Cucumbers and Additional Seasonings Into Jar, Add Juice

Step Four: Pickles (...well, in three months)!*

*Not shown: Tomatoes. I got bored and read a book.

There's not a lot to say about canning and preserving your own foods. Well, I'm sure there is, but I'll just leave it at this: To me, it was just a fun activity to do on a weekend afternoon, with the steam from the giant pot sending vivid thoughts of a witches brew through my head. To TJ, it was a warm memory of simpler childhood days spent with his Maw Maw.

And for that alone, I think this is a hobby that'll stick around for a while. I fully support this.

You know, unless we pop those jars open in three months and die from botulism.

Tapalpa

2012-01-03T13:01:00.015-05:00

TJ and I have this deal when we go on road trips. I hate to drive, so I read to him and he drives me around like I'm Jessica Tandy or something.

Recently, a co-worker loaned TJ a book by Tina Fey, entitled Bossy Pants. We are both fans of the woman, and as we both stared at the book, he said "I'm reading it first, you know." My response was a hopeful "Can I just read it to you on the drive to and from work?" That turned out to be a fair compromise, and when we finished the book a week or so later, I grabbed the first thing I could find, which was Speaker for the Dead, by Orson Scott Card. This is of course a sequel to the very popular Ender's Game, which we had both read previously. Everything was going great until, halfway through the book, our carpool suddenly expanded. We couldn't be rude and continue reading in front of other people, so it was decided that a weekend road trip was in order. Monday, January 3rd being a government holiday presented the perfect opportunity to finally visit Tapalpa . (Wow, this blog post is kinda like an episode of The Simpsons. The stuff in the beginning has absolutely nothing to do with the stuff in the middle or end.)

Ninety minutes south of Guadalajara and 6400 feet above sea level, Tapalpa, the Pueblo Mágico, is a beautiful mountain town surrounded by lakes and pine forests.

As with most small towns in Mexico, life seems to radiate outward from the city center, beginning with the church. With that said, Iglesia de Tapalpa is one of the most elegant churches I've seen yet. I'm not one to normally take photos inside a house of worship (though it's been known to happen), as it makes me feel a little bit like a creep if worshipers are present...but in this case I couldn't resist. The arching ceilings made of brick are beautifully complimented but not overshadowed by vibrant artwork.

Caddy corner to the church is Antigua Iglesia de Tapalpa. Apparently no longer used for its original purpose, the building now acts as a small market from which merchants sell candies, jams, and handmade crafts and clothing. Among the knick-knacks we discovered a large metal box with the logo of the recently concluded Pan American Games. Further inspection of the box revealed an import valve for gas. The top of the box appeared to have an opening that would allow for the release of the gas, perhaps in the form of a flame. Whether this was an official torch from the games, or a homemade craft project, we are unsure. All we know for certain is that Tapalpa hosted the mountain bike competition during the recent sporting event.

Behind the newer church you can find a small sculpture garden that contains, among other things, this bull and horse. Note that the horse, at first glance quite beautiful, has a...scorpion...in his stomach?

Ten minutes outside of the city limits is a little tourist trap called Las Pierdrotas, The Big Rocks. Nobody knows exactly what they are, but, well, they're there. I guess you could say that makes them something akin to Stonehenge, only they are definitely not manmade.

Located in the middle of what appears to be a cow pasture, with the cow patties to prove it, the giant stones are surrounded by barbed wire fencing. The only discernible entrance to this field is a tiny gate straddled on either side by booths set up by the locals to sell food and handmade crafts. There is no entrance fee, but the merchants do request a donation, as they are responsible for maintaining the site. Or so they say. Whatevs. 100 pesos later and we were climbing rocks.

The mysterious formations in the middle of nowhere reminded us of our September visit to Guachimontones. Although both were fun, Tapalpa earns bonus points for more climbability. I guess rocks aren't as precious as ancient pyramids.

Next was a drive up into the mountains to Eko Park, an extreme sports destination, where we signed up for the Tirolesas (zip line) adventure. It's described as a "canopy tour," but I don't see how anybody does this and enjoys the scenery, for fear of falling, slamming into a tree, or both. That's not to say it wasn't fun, because it was. It's just scary. Especially when the safety instructions are given in a language you aren't exactly fluent in. I won't lie. I almost peed a little when I made the first of the nine jumps. It was pretty exhilarating after that.

Below you will see a photo of TJ lamely pulling himself to the end of the line because he slowed down too soon (L) and of me being awesome (R).

Not pictured is me jumping off for the ninth zip line, dragging the cable down, and butt-skidding down the side of the mountain before finally clearing the edge and going airborne. TJ didn't do this. Who's lame now? Yeah, it's me. Skinnier people go airborne as soon as they jump. I hate skinny people. I hope to be one someday.

We had intended to explore the city more, but were at Eko Park an hour longer than expected and wanted to make sure we were back in Guadalajara before nightfall.

We concluded the day with a delicious Mexican/Italian dinner at one of our favorite Guadalajara haunts, La Grelha, before heading home and promptly collapsing in exhaustion.

All in all, not a bad way to spend a holiday.

The book sadly remains unfinished, with but one chapter left. I think we'll knock that out tonight.

Prioritizing the New Year

2012-01-01T18:37:00.005-05:00

Calvin there may be perfect, but I'm certainly not. I've been doing some thinking over the last few weeks, and although I'm not usually one to make New Year's Resolutions, there are a few things I want to accomplish before the end of the year. Here they are, in no particular order. Well, I guess they're in this order...

1. Lose weight. I want to weigh what I weighed when I met TJ. I think 60-70 pounds ought to do it. Shameful, isn't it? I posted once, way back in the day, that I was going to hit this particular weight goal on such-and-such date. It didn't happen. This is the first time I've acknowledged that in this blog. Good news is that I don't weigh any more now than I did then. Bad news is that I don't weigh any less, either. I'm going to do my best to finally reach my goal by year's end.

2. Exercise more, eat healthier foods, drink less alcohol. Obviously, carrying out Number 2 will assist with Number 1. My mom went to the doctor last week to have an MRI to find out why she has been suffering chronic leg and hip pains for the past four years. She had been struggling with her doctor, who wouldn't authorize an MRI, for months until, finally, she found a new doctor that would. Turns out she may have a blocked aortic valve. She was floored by the possibility. I want to develop healthier habits now so that when I am her age heart problems will hopefully not be a concern. Meanwhile, mom will know more pending the results of tomorrow's CT Scan.

3. Blog more. I only posted 58 times in 2011, compared to 126 in 2010. You'd think that I'd have more to say and do in Mexico than I did in D.C. Well, I do. The problem is I'm too busy doing those things to say anything about them. Let's see if we can change that.

4. Write something, even if it's crap. My one great regret in life will be if I never try to be a professional writer. It can be a novel, novella, children's book, cook book, or even my very (not) interesting life story. I don't' care what it is. I just want to put pen to paper. Doesn't even have to get finished this year...just needs to get started. I actually did write an article for State Magazine that should be published in the first quarter. It's a nonpaying gig, but it's a start.

5. See as much of Mexico as I can before we leave. 'Nuff said.

I think those five things make for a good start. I'm sure there's plenty more that I could do to better myself, but then what would I have to look forward to in 2013?

Eight Crazy Weeks: A Chanukah Story

2011-12-31T14:56:00.015-05:00

It's so hard to believe that it's already been two full months since we returned from our cruise...and even harder to believe that in two months all I've managed to do is blog about said cruise.

That's not to say that it hasn't been a busy, productive, stressful, and incredibly fun two months. Because it has, lack of photographic evidence to the contrary. Well, there are a few photos, so let's pepper them throughout this post so we can get ourselves caught up in time for 2012, shall we?

Upon returning from our vacation we immediately began work on a "Christmas Around the World" exhibit that the consulate had been invited to install at local children's museum Trompo Mágico. The nicest thing I can say about this is that despite many, many, many unforeseen hurdles (many), the project was completed in time for its early December deadline, and looked nice, if not how originally intended (see hurdles).

Speaking of hurdles, On November 20th, we attended the closing ceremonies of the Parapan American Games, which acted as a nice bookend to our attendance of the Pan American Games opening ceremonies on October 14th. It was an unexpected treat, our having only received the tickets last minute to attend as representatives from the consulate. The ceremony was small, yet fortuitously featured many elements of the closing ceremonies for the Pan American Games, which we had only been able to watch on television. Highlights included a parade paying homage to celebrated Mexican artist Sergio Bustamonte, famous for incorporating sun and moon imagery into his work.

We invited some friends over for Thanksgiving this year. It was important to us that we be able to host a big meal because we hadn't had the opportunity to do so since leaving Orlando in February 2010. Last Thanksgiving we had just arrived in Guadalajara and were graciously invited to share the holiday with a large group of TJ's fellow officers. Now, a full year later, having made extensive efforts to branch out and make local friend, we wanted to share a traditional American Thanksgiving with them. We had a great

turnout, eleven friends in total, none of whom had ever experienced the holiday before. We went all out, preparing turkey, ham, sweet potato casserole (the biggest, most exotic hit), deviled eggs, mac n' cheese, and green bean casserole. We went lazy on dessert and opted to buy pumpkin, pecan, and cherry cheesecake pies from an American run bakery, Jeffrey. Lots of great food and wine were had by all, and we all surely suffered for it at work the following day.

Early December found TJ working with a fellow Entry Level Officer to coordinate and staff a booth for World AIDS Day at a fair being held by several of the HIV/AIDS awareness groups in Guadalajara. These were connections TJ made months earlier while coordinating a film series for LGBT Awareness Month. Prior to these outreach events, these groups had minimal contact with each other, while the existence of some was unknown. It's amazing what this career allows you to accomplish sometimes.

Meanwhile, I was busy organizing a toy and clothing drive that I organized for two worthy causes: a shelter for battered women and children, and a privately run foster home that depends on donations to survive. All told, I was able to collect enough toys to ensure that each of the 40+ kids would have 2-3 new toys each, plus plenty of gently used clothing for the brave women at the shelter, who left their homes quickly to get their children to safety.

In the nine days leading up to Christmas, Catholic and Protestant families in Mexico will host a series of parties called posadas. A posada (Spanish word for Inn) is a party that originated in Spain in which you break piñatas, eat tamales, and reenact, through song, Mary and Joseph's struggle to find lodging on the night of Jesus's birth. Unable to attend any last year due to timing, but very interested in this particular cultural exchange, we were thrilled to find ourselves invited to three such parties this year. One was at a co-workers house, and there were tamales and singing, but no piñatas. One was at a local friend's house, and there were piñatas and singing, but no tamales. Another was at a club, and hosted by one of the groups TJ had worked with during the World AIDS Day outreach. It was your typical holiday party without piñatas, tamales, or singing. This type of party is becoming more common, where you call it a posada simply for taking place in December. Although none of the three featured all of the aspects of a traditional posada, I feel that we gained a very clear image of the holidays in Mexico.

Everyone was so appreciative and responsive to Thanksgiving that we decided to do something similar for Chanukah. But instead of one big party, we wanted to use each of the eight nights to invite a different friend to our dinner table. The first four nights were filled with brisket, latkes, and fried donuts. On the fifth night, we found ourselves hosting a friend whose family lives out of town and had no plans for Christmas. Tired of brisket and fried potatoes, and realizing that for him this was Christmas Eve, we decided to treat him to a traditional holiday meal and whipped up another turkey. But fear not! We spent Christmas Day in the traditional Jewish manner: We grabbed the newest officer to arrive at post and headed to the mall for some P.F. Chang's and a screening of "Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol." It probably goes without saying that the rest of the holiday consisted of delicious turkey, stuffing, and cranberry sauce sandwiches. Except the last night, when we returned to Jewish culinary inspiration and took our first ever crack at stuffed cabbage.

All in all, it's been a very busy couple of months. Although it was a little more Christmas-influenced that I would have liked, we have accepted that life abroad will require us to open our minds and hearts to all sorts of local traditions. As for Hanukkah, well, it was definitely better than last year. And I certainly can't complain about the good that we have done (or at least hope we have done) for the community lately.

As a write this, the final day of 2011 is quickly coming to a close. In a few short hours, we will be joined by good friends for light snacks and a couple of drinks before taking a taxi to one of the most popular clubs in the city to ring in the new year.

It's so common to hear people say "I sure hope next year is better."

But you know what? 2011 has been a blessing. I do hope that 2012 is better, but if it's merely equal to 2011, I'll be a happy camper.

Have fun tonight, everyone. And most of all, be safe.

I'm A Tourist In My Own City

2011-12-18T15:40:00.016-05:00

When the Carnival Miracle docked in Ft. Lauderdale on November 10th, we scurried over to the airport, rented a Jeep Grand Cherokee, and zoomed down the highway for three days of fun and excitement in sunny Orlando, Florida. Or as we like to call it: Home, Sweet Home.

Only it isn't, really. Not anymore.

Instead of heading back to our adorable house near downtown where we could unpack, wash laundry, and relax after eight days of adventure on the open seas, we were heading to a hotel on Disney property. We never even drove by our house.

Instead of spending a lazy Sunday making a Target run or gorging ourselves at Pei Wei with our roommate Kris, we were inviting our friend Kris to join us for a couple of days of fun at Disney and Universal.

Instead of inviting our friends Ryan and Mike to dinner at Disney's Hoop-de-Doo Musical Revue, we....okay, well, we did do that. But the music has changed somewhat. And we have no idea when that happened.

And as for our other friends? The people we spent the last eight or so years getting to know? We didn't see any of them. Some have moved to other cities. A few were on vacations of their own. Others were busy. And some we've just simply lost contact with.

This was TJ's first trip back to Orlando since our whirlwind life in the Foreign Service began in February 2010. But not mine. I had returned once before, in June 2010, to do some work on our house and prepare it for renters. At the time, I blogged about how difficult the transition had been for me, how I was having trouble reconciling our happy life in Orlando with our new life in (at the time) D.C.

And now? I can't imagine life any other way.

Sure, I miss Orlando and the life we built there. We both do. But it was also ridiculously fun to go back and experience all the new things we missed out on while away. I got to watch as TJ enjoyed the new Harry Potter attractions at Universal's Islands of Adventure for the first time (something I got to do on my last visit). We got to experience the EPCOT International Food and Wine Festival with renewed fervor after a one year absence (happy to report that the tacos were surprisingly authentic). I got to stay in a Disney hotel (okay, so the Dolphin isn't a Disney hotel, but it's on property, so I say it counts) for the first time ever.

We celebrated our one year anniversary in Mexico on November 8th. We were Florida-bound, somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean, floating alongside the Dominican Republic, at the time.

As much fun as the vacation was, on that particular day I found myself wishing we could have celebrated the occasion in Puerto Vallarta, or Manzanillo. Somewhere...Mexican. [NOTE: Tomorrow I will be celebrating my one year anniversary of working at the Consulate...at the Consulate. I also wish this could be celebrated in Puerto Vallarta or Manzanillo.]

Because Mexico is Home, Sweet Home now.

Only it isn't, really. Or at least not for long.

The hardest part about this life of ours is that as soon as you get comfortable with your surroundings, it's time to get yourself some new surroundings. Of course, that's also the most exciting part about this life of ours.

We will be receiving our bid list soon. As hard as it is to believe, we have less than a year left in Guadalajara. Where we go after that is anyone's guess.

Who knows? Who cares?

I love life in the Foreign Service. Getting to live in a new countries. Making friends around the world. Learning about new cultures and languages. Trying new foods. Taking day trips to places you never even knew existed.

It's all super exciting.

And once you're able to let go of the old concept of home, the sky's the limit.

Just like old times. Me looking one way,

TJ looking another, and Kris hanging on for dear life.

St. Kitts

2011-12-16T18:18:00.000-05:00

Okay, so if we’ve learned anything over the course of my last three blogs, it’s that getting off of a cruise ship and seeking your own adventure can be hit or miss.

If St. Maarten was a 1st Down, and St. Lucia was a fumble, then St. Kitts was our shot at a touchdown. Ooh, look at me and my macho baseball metaphors. Wait. What?

Anyway, we wanted to make sure that we had a good time on our last port day, so we finally bit the bullet and booked an excursion through Carnival. I’m only somewhat ashamed to admit that it ended up being the best of the bunch. Yeah, I know. Figures, right?

We booked what is called the “Sail & Snorkel Adventure,” which was described as follows:

Board your catamaran and sail the crystal clear waters to Shittens Bay (please, people, refrain from potty humor) for a rewarding snorkeling experience.

On this excursion you will:

Watch the sails unfurl as your leisurely cruise proceeds along the Leeward Coast of St. Kitts, passing the Frigate Bay resort area and Friars Bay before arriving at your snorkeling destination.

Discover Shittens Bay (hard, isn't it?), a secluded and unspoiled cove accessible only by sea. This is home to an abundance of marine life with several varieties of reef fish and beautiful coral formations.

Snorkel, swim, or relax onboard your spacious catamaran. Novice snorkelers will be offered special assistance.

During your return sail enjoy rum punch, sodas, beer and other beverages as you relax and admire the scenery as it passes by.

The evening prior to our departure, we were less than overjoyed to hear (from several sources) that a group had set sail on a snorkeling excursion out of St. Lucia earlier that day on a boat that was poorly maintained. I believe the phrase “missing one of its motors” was tossed around. They were later horrified when a motorboat was allowed to pass through their snorkel zone…while they were in the water. They probably Shitten the Bay (hey, I never said *I* would refrain from potty humor) at that point. Worst of all, this excursion had been booked through Carnival. Yeah, and we thought we had problems in St. Lucia.

This didn’t fill us with confidence, but what the hell, we decided to do it anyway. And we are so glad we did. It was our first experience in a catamaran, and it zipped through the bay at speeds that were simultaneously exhilarating and relaxing. The scenery was gorgeous. We saw some coral and a few fishes.

We snorkeled for the first time ever. It’s quite awkward at first, but a cakewalk once you allow yourself the time to adjust to your surroundings. It’s ridiculous, because you’re wearing a life jacket, but when you jump off the boat, your goggles and snorkel fill up with salt water, and you do experience a temporary, intense, irrational fear of drowning.

Or maybe that’s just me. I didn’t learn to swim until I was almost 10 years old, and only after two very real near-drowning episodes.

Of course, as it turns out, I wasn’t the only one with an irrational fear of drowning. Once TJ and I had made the leap and adjusted to our environment, we turned to find Antonio clinging to the ladder. Lacking the nerve for the jump, he had opted to take the stepladder approach to snorkeling. Unfortunately, he found himself unwilling to let go and just…float. After dragging him off the ladder, I managed to pull him just past arm’s reach of the boat before he decided he just wanted to sit this one out. It was disappointing. I wish he could have enjoyed the experience more. This had been a mutually agreed upon excursion, after all. On the bright side, we were able to get this photo out of the deal:

Note to self: Buy a waterproof camera for next time!

The ride back to port was a relaxing one filled with pleasant conversation, so-so Rum Punch, and tasty local beer. Everything the descriptions said it would be.

We stopped at a local joint for some Conch Fritters with some of our snorkel buddies before heading back to the boat. But not before doing the one thing Cruise Director Malcolm advised against:

Paying strangers to take pictures of us with monkeys!

St. Lucia

2011-12-15T21:03:00.005-05:00

Buying an excursion outside the confines of the Carnival selection worked in our favor so well in St. Maarten that we decided to give it a go in St. Lucia. That's when we learned a valuable lesson:

That boat won't always float.

Poor word choice, given that we're traveling via cruise ship? Perhaps. But I stand by it.

The one thing we had heard about St. Lucia is that we needed to see the Pitons, which are two volcanic plugs located at a World Heritage Site. Now, longtime readers will know that I love me some World Heritage Site goodness.

Yeah, well, enjoy this picture of the Pitons I found on Google. Because it's as close as I got to them. Ironically, I found the picture on the site of blogger who also failed to make it to the Pitons. Here's the link to his blog, just 'cause I'm cool like that.

As you may have guessed, all excursions to the Pitons were booked by the time we made it to the tour desk. Not to be detoured from an awesome day, we signed up for a three hour Segway tour. We paid the woman at the tour stand $25 USD for a taxi that would take us to the Segway tour center, where we would then be required to pay the fee for the tour itself. The time was 9:00am.

By 9:30 the taxi had arrived at the Segway office. TJ was advised that the next tour would not start until 2pm. The boat would leave at 4pm. The math did not compute. TJ explained this to the taxi driver, who said he would take us back to the original tour stand for a full refund just as soon as he dropped the other passengers off at the beach. This, folks, is how you AVOID a scene.

We were back at our point of origin by 10:15. We stepped out of the taxi, and the first thing we heard was a demanding "What is the problem?" We patiently explained the issue at hand, and were redirected to the tour stand.

The woman who sold us the taxi seats impatiently listened as we calmly explained:

How we approached her to buy tickets for a segway tour
How she sold us taxi seats to the Segway office
How the tour didn't start until 2:00 but we had to be on the boat by 4:00
How the driver said the tour stand would issue a full refund for our troubles

After hearing all of this, she said "I won't be refunding your money." This, folks, is how you CAUSE a scene.

There was a heated back and forth in which she explained that she only worked for the taxi company and is not responsible for the tours, and we reminded her that perhaps she should have told us that when we came to her to schedule the tour, not a taxi ride. This lead to her saying that she is not responsible for knowing tour times, and us suggesting that, given her proximity to the port, perhaps she should make that her responsibility so that she doesn't inconvenience her clientele. When that went nowhere, I politely suggested she remove the sign that advertised Segway tours from her booth, as it seemed to indicate some sort of relationship between the companies...by almost ripping it off the wall before TJ reminded me to be a good boy.

Eventually, we got our money back. But not without 10 minutes of me blocking access to the booth and repeatedly telling her "I want my money, give me my money, you stole my money..." while TJ informed every potential customer that looked our way of what they had done. After chasing away five potential customers, her manager suggested she give us our money and send us on our way.

And she did. As she handed the money to TJ, she looked me dead in the eyes, flashed an "I hate you" grin, and said, with venom dripping from her teeth,

"You have a blessed day, now."

Now, as I teased in Ships Ahoy, here is where Antonio learned a very polite, religiously condescending way to tell someone to go f--- themselves.

Oh well. We had our money back. What more was there to do, other than to say,

"You, too, ma'am. You. Too."

At this point it was only about 10:30 and we weren't quite ready to get back on the boat. So we headed over to a nearby bar and used our $25 the next best way we knew how. AND we got to see the Pitons! Sort of.

After that we did the only thing we could, which was pose sexily at the waterfront and shop for souvenirs of this blessed day.

St. Maarten

2011-12-15T14:29:00.015-05:00

The last time we took a cruise, we made the mistake of not booking any shore excursions. We simply assumed that we would be able to arrive at port, hop off the boat, and find something to do. No way were we going to let somebody sucker us out of OUR money, no-siree!

Yeah, that was dumb.

We disembarked in both Freeport and Nassau, took one look around, and hopped back on the boat.

We weren't going to make that same mistake twice. Yet we weren't quite willing to pay Carnival's inflated booking fees, either.

We instead opted to disembark, fight the urge to get back on the boat, and find a local tour stand from which to book an excursion. And we did just that.

Thus began an exciting five hour tour of St. Maarten. The island has been split almost equally between the French (who call it Saint-Martin) and the Dutch (who call it Sint Maarten) since the 1600s. Although the French control a larger percentage of land mass, the Dutch currently beat them in population. Stop # 0 (I call it 0 because it lasted for 5 minutes and therefore doesn't count) of our trip treated us to this nice hillside view of the island.

Our first real stop was at Orient Beach. Now, now, I know what you're probably thinking. But we did NOT know this tour was heading into nude beach territory when we booked the excursion. I've never been all that comfortable with my body, and generally find it a chore to drag myself to a clothing-required beach. That said, it's vacation, so why not.

Ha! Vacation, nothing! I don't get naked in public for anybody. But I won't say that I didn't do a little window shopping. For the children out there, and for the sake of our careers, I'll simply share this photo, shot facing the non-nekkid part of the beach.

The beach was lovely. The nudesters, not so much. But hey, let 'em enjoy their holiday, right? As we were heading back to the shuttle, I stopped to admire this one guy's zoom lens. No, really. He was carefully putting his very expensive looking camera away, and he had a bag containing two, maybe three, high powered zoom lenses. What did YOU think I meant? Anyway, as he set the camera down to talk to his wife, I turned my attention to TJ and Antonio, who were engaged in conversation with some of our shipmates that had just arrived at the beach. We were soon back in the shuttle heading for our second destination, all thoughts of zoom envy behind me.

The second destination on our whirlwind tour was a brief stop at a shopping plaza in Marigot, the island's French capitol. The beautiful Fort St. Luis overlooks Marigot Bay and the shopping district. This is the type of security we need in the US on Black Friday, people!

The fort was built in 1767 to protect the French residents of Marigot from invasion. It was later temporarily occupied by the Dutch, but now just serves as a nice place to catch a panoramic view of the island. We didn't have time to make the climb, so I will simply remember this portion of the tour as being the only source of air conditioning during the entire excursion. Sure the shuttle van had A/C. But you know how it feels when someone blows on you on a really hot day? Yeah, it felt like that.

Street Markets and French-Inspired architecture aplenty.

The tour wrapped up with a delicious lunch at local burger joint/tourist trap Sunset Bar & Grill, located on the Dutch side of the island. This place isn't just famous for it's delicious burgers and margaritas, of which their were plenty. No, this place is best known for it's location. Not only is it situated on a white sandy beach with a nice cityscape backdrop, it also happens to sit at the end of the runway at Princess Juliana International Airport. Right. At. The. End.

What this means is that diners are able to watch jumbo jets take off and land while they eat. Doesn't sound very exciting, does it? Yeah, we didn't think so either. Turned out to be the highlight of the day. Just take a look at these photos to see how close you actually are to these babies. It's completely exhilarating to be this close to an airplane in motion.

Close, huh? Oh, not close enough?

How about now? Note the sign, please.

After lunch our guide asked if we wanted to see any more of the island, but we all muttered an exhausted "Mmm?noooo...whaaa?" and he took us back to port so we could all shuffle off to our cabins for a much deserved afternoon nap.

But not before someone in the shuttle exclaimed, in a horrified my-trip-is-ruined kind of way, "Has anyone seen my camera bag?!?"

Whoops.

All in all, a great day (well, maybe not for that one guy). But would I ever go back?

Well, if you insist.

You betcha!

Ships Ahoy!

2011-12-15T12:42:00.001-05:00

November 2nd found us in Ft. Lauderdale setting sail on the Carnival Miracle for an eight day Eastern Caribbean-bound adventure to the beautiful islands of St. Maarten, St. Lucia, and St. Kitts.

This was only our second cruise, both in our 8+ years together, and our lives in general. We could but hope it would turn out better than our last cruise aboard the Carnival Sensation in October 2008. That four day cruise to the Bahamas saw us visiting the islands of Freeport and Nassau with another couple...a couple that we weren't exactly friends with anymore, but had been very close to at the time of the booking. Eep! (Note: They've since broken up, and one of them is actually quite nice. The other...meh.)

Hi, Florida! Bye, Florida!

You'd think we'd learn a lesson from that. But you'd be wrong. Accompanying us on this voyage was our good friend Antonio, making his first-ever journey outside of Mexico. I'm happy to report that we were all still friends when the boat left, and by the time it returned. Whew! Disaster averted.

I'll post about our various island adventures separately, but for now we'll just talk about life on the boat. And, as any cruiser can attest, life on the boat is best measured by what you've been drinking. Carnival certainly knows this. There's a special drink served each day.

We set sail from Ft. Lauderdale at 4pm on Funship Special (November 2nd). Yellow Bird and Riviera Delight (November 3rd and 4th) were Fun Days at Sea. We spent this time investigating every nook and cranny of the boat.

The Mad Hatter's Ball plays host to

much of the ship's entertainment.

That first night presented us with a wonderful song and dance show that introduced us to our entertainment crew and ship mascot Funship Freddy.

Due to international copyright laws, this is the only show that allowed flash photography. So don't expect more than this, folks!

Well...okay. This isn't a picture from a show, but here's a fancy mullet we had a spectacular view of one evening while awaiting curtain call.

Despite the party in the back, I can assure you

that she was all business in the front.

On the third night, TJ was jonesing for some karaoke. Regular karaoke was delayed, pending the conclusion of a karaoke contest. TJ didn't want to wait and didn't think he'd win, so he entered the contest, singing Livin' La Vida Loca. More on that later.

We arrived in St. Maarten early on the morning of Blue Margarita (November 5th). After a day exploring the island we played a round of put-put golf and I won a medal for eating a cookie off of my forehead without using my hands. Obese people of the world, rejoice!

Chillin' on the stoop

The ball was a hole-in-one. The cookie took two tries.

We had a very interesting day in St Lucia on Goombay Smash (November 6th) in which Antonio learned a very polite, religiously condescending way to tell someone to go f--- themselves. But more on that at another time.

The best day of all was Caribbean Breeze (November 7th) in St Kitts. We booked an AMAZING excursion for this day that I'll talk about...three blogs from now (This is about the boat, people! Focus!). We spent some time that evening hanging out with new friends Susanne and Teresa. These are two amazing women that TJ and I met on Yellow Bird during dinner. Okay, met is a little strong. They tried to talk to us but we were fairly oblivious. Fortunately they were having none of that and accosted us at the bar later. We ended up talking and dancing with them most every night thereafter. We met these California gals as they were enjoying their sixth annual cruise together, a tradition they started when Teresa moved to North Dakota for her husband's work. Oh, and that crazy guy is Malcom, our Cruise Director. Funny at every turn, we were quite pleased to snag a photo with him in his most outrageous outfit.

Two more Fun Days at Sea were had on Ultimate Suntan and Bahama Mama (November 8th and 9th).

We were pretty worn out by this point, so we took it easy. Light entertainment consisted of a demonstration on how to create the famous Carnival towel animals (which is really just a way of hawking their book...buy yours now!), and a scavenger hunt in which we had to do many ridiculous things in front of large crowds.

...things were clearly taking a turn for the worse, because I have no recollection

as to why I am carrying around an empty can of Boddington's here...

On the final night of the cruise there was a show called "Carnival Legends." This is a show that mixes the ship's talented cast of singers and dancers in with a few of the vacationers that competed in karaoke contests (most likely under the influence of a Drink of the Day) throughout the course of the vacation. That's right folks. Here's where we get to TJ's gross miscalculation on Riviera Delight. I present to you...RICKY MARTIN!

Livin' La Vida Loca...again

We finally made our way back to Ft. Lauderdale on November 10th. Yes, November 10th. There are no drink specials for disembarkment. I guess they don't want to be held responsible for drinking and driving. Or maybe it's because disembarkment is at 8am and no self respecting tourist would be caught drinking before 9. Either way, it was...simply...November 10th. The end of our vacation.

Except for the three fun days in Orlando that followed, of course. But more on that later.

We've still got islands to talk about!

Welcome to the Pan American Games

2011-10-16T16:50:00.022-04:00

On our anniversary waaaay back in July I surprised TJ with tickets to the 2011 Pan American Games Opening Ceremonies hosted here in Guadalajara. We finally got to use those tickets on Friday night. Totally worth the wait.

If you're not familiar with the Pan American Games, let's just say that, for the Americas, they're the next best thing to the Olympics. There's a torch relay and everything. And you can't have a torch relay without there being a final destination for the torch in question. And that, of course, means there must be an opening ceremony. For the Guadalajara games, the ceremony was produced by FiveCurrents, the California-based company responsible for the 2002 Winer Olympics Opening Cermony in Salt Lake City, Utah.

Not knowing what to expect in terms of traffic, we decided to head to Estadio Omnilife much earlier than one would normally intend. We had learned earlier in the day that there would be very little parking at the venue, so we opted for the Park-n-Ride option provided by a nearby mall. We arrived shortly after 5pm and quickly found ourselves lost in a sea of people. The organizers knew to expect crowds to arrive early and did a fantastic job providing entertainment (and beer!) to keep everyone occupied before the main event. There was an air show, food (and beer!) vendors, marketing ploys disguised as carnival games, and of course lots of Pan Am merchandise.

At 6:00 we headed into the stadium, grabbed some food (and beer!), and took our seats. We were pleased to find a gift bag waiting for us. Inside was a package of inflatable Aplaudidores (clappers), to be used during the Parade of Nations, and a flashlight. The game mascots headed out and did a little dancing to energize the early arrivals, and by 7:00 we were in rehearsal for the audience participation section of the show. Hence, the flashlights.

The Mascots

Gavo, the blue agave plant, represents the tequila production that has made this area of Mexico famous. He's my favorite. Probably because he looks so darned goofy. He just screams "I need extra love."
Huichi, the pink deer, represents the southern region of the state and pays tribute to its Huichol traditions and the female identity. She's my least favorite. Wears too much makeup. I call her Hoochie. And if you think I'm being harsh, please note that she is, in fact, working the pole in that photo.
Leo the lion (generic name, eh?) represents the strength of the people of Guadalajara. Lion imagery is also incorporated into the city's coat of arms. Leo's okay in my book but will always play second fiddle to ol' Gavo.

Huichi's giving Nomi Malone a run for her money.

The ceremonies began at 8:00 with the legendary Vicente Fernandez singing the Mexican National Anthem. Accompanying him was a mariachi band and an impressive demonstration of the Ballet Folklórico.

USA! USA!

The Parade of Nations followed, beginning with Argentina and presenting the 42 attending delegations in alphabetical order according to the Spanish alphabet. Mexico was of course the exception to the rule. Being the host country, the Mexican delegation entered last and was greeted by a standing ovation and thunderous applause. Just minutes earlier, TJ had been chastised by an

usher for standing up and cheering for the US delegation. In our section it was apparently only okay to stand and root for the home team. And in case you're wondering, yes, when Mexico entered, we stood and cheered with the best of 'em.

Maná burst into song following the parade, and for a brief moment the organizers lost control of the event as half of the Mexican delegation abandoned their seats in an effort to rush the stage. All was calm by the end of the segment and the show continued as scheduled.

Then came the aerialists, followed by a video montage of the torch relay. Mexican President Felipe Calderón said a few words prior to the raising of the Pan American flag, and before we knew it, it was our turn to perform. Following the cues of our section leaders, we put on a light spectacle unlike any I've seen before. Really, it's best to let the pictures and video do the talking.

Columbian singer and hottie Juanes (bottom, right...No, really. He's there. I promise.) took the stage as the light spectacle took on a life of its own, continuing beyond the choreographed segment.

As the festivities came to a close, the torch arrived, igniting a series of pyrotechnics above the open-air stadium.

Who thought that one tiny torch...

...could cause all of that?

Alejandro Fernandez, son of Vicente, closed the ceremony with El Mismo Sol, the official song of the 2011 Pan American Games. The fireworks grand finale lit up the sky as images of Pan Am athletes were transposed upon the ceiling.

Alejandro, Alejandro...

All in all, this has to be the most incredible thing I have ever seen in person. As for TJ, his Facebook status Saturday morning said the following:

"Night of the Panamerican Games Opening Ceremony...

The best night of my life. It was a childhood dream come true."

Yeah, I rock.

TJ and I have both been fans of the Olympics for as long as we can remember. TJ loves telling stories of how he would fake illness during his younger years so that he could stay home from school to watch the winter games. He even managed to attend an event or two for both the 1996 Summer and 2002 Winter Olympic Games

And me? My parents, long ago in what honestly feels like another lifetime, once promised to send me to Australia for the 2000 Summer Olympics in Sydney. I am sorry to say that it never happened.

But all is forgiven. My parents, famous for promising trips to Walt Disney World that never happened, thus inspiring my eventual move to Orlando, where I met TJ, who wanted to start a life in the Foreign Service, resulting in my move to Mexico, where I am at the very heart of the Pan American Games...well, I guess they got me to the games after all.

Guachimontones

2011-10-14T15:56:00.010-04:00

Heavy rains may have prevented us from taking in the sights of the local ruins during Patrick's visit, but on September 24th TJ and I, accompanied by good pals Pablo and Gus, kicked Mother Nature's booty from Guadalajara all the way to Guachimontones and back. Or maybe she just took pity on us and gave us a sunny day. She owed us. This was our third or fourth attempt, after all (Note to would-be travelers: Guadalajara's rainy season runs May - October).

As has been the case with many other wonderful places that we have had the pleasure of visiting here in Mexico, Guachimontones has been inscribed onto the list of UNESCO World Heritage Sites (July 12, 2006). Unfortuantely, heavy looting also placed it on the 2008 World Monuments Watch list of 100 Most Endangered Sites. I'm not sure what else is being looted, but I did read that stone is being taken from the site to build houses in nearby Teuchitlán.

So what is Guachimontones?

Good question. Nobody's 100% sure.

What is known is that this archaeological site, located about an hour west of Guadalajara, was home to the Teuchitlan society from approximately 300BCE to 900CE. The pyramids here are of a circular nature and are located within circular building complexes. It is believed that Volador ceremonies (rain dances that involve four people launching themselves from the top of a 30 meter pole while a fifth dances and plays the flute or a drum on top of the pole) were conducted here. It's origin can be assigned to the Aztecs, but that's really just a guess at this time.

At the current time, it's definitely not as impressive as Teotihuacan, but we can cut it some slack for being a newbie to the ruins game. The site was only found in 1970, with real research not beginning until1996. The site as it is currently excavated appears to consist of two pyramids and several platforms.

It's small, modest, and beautiful. All told, we probably spent only an hour or two exploring the ruins, asking Gus not to stand on the pyramids (or at least to not do so in such close proximity to the signs asking him not to), and hiking up a giant hill that we all swear is another pyramid waiting to be discovered...and yet it was an hour or two well spent.

If you ever get the opportunity, I'd recommend a visit. And please, do so before it's been ripped apart and used to build somebody's summer home.

Patrick Mans Up

2011-10-13T18:03:00.014-04:00

Our friend Patrick visited over the Independence Day weekend. No, not the 4th of July. I may be behind on blogging but I'm not that behind. I instead refer to Mexican Independence Day, which is celebrated on September 16th.

Anyway, Patrick (You remember Patrick, right? We visited him in Houston last November.) was one tough cookie to get down here. He was a frequent visitor when we lived in Florida and even managed to pop up to DC twice during our nine month stay in Falls Church, VA. Yet almost a year into Mexico and we hadn't seen hide nor hair of him. I think he was scared. Hah. I know he was scared. He even went so far as to book and cancel a flight within an impressive 24 hour period. Yeah, buddy, I called you out like that. Much love.

I was able to con him into rebooking the flight by batting my eyes and saying "Please? I really miss you." Well, ok, so i think I might have said he was a bad friend and hella-lame. I don't remember. Either way, it did the trick. So how did Patrick fare in Mexico? Let's find out!

Arriving at the airport on Wednesday afternoon, Patrick was quickly whisked away for a fat slab of cow at one of our favorite steakeries, Un Romano y Dos Ladrones. We ordered a bottle of wine, three ginormous steaks, and a cold octopus appetizer. Other than the appetizer, a good time was had by all. Score: Guadalajara-is-Fun: 1, Mexico-is-Awful: 0

For Thursday, the plan had been to pawn Patrick off on a bus tour and have that entertain him until lunchtime, at which point I would send him home to wait on me until work ended. At the last minute I decided to take the day off, and boy was that a good idea. Thanks to the aforementioned Independence Day, streets all over the city center were closed, including the ones leading to and from the bus tour, which I think was itself closed for the day. We opted for a walking tour of El Centro, where we were able to tour Catedral de la Asunción de María Santísima and Mercado San Juan de Dios (two very impressive features of the city that will eventually make their way into this blog. We then stopped by Instituto Cultural Cabañas, where I was disappointed to find a boring church photo exhibit had replaced the Frida Kahlo and Diego Rivera exhibit of the previous month. Fail. I was able to save the morning by enticing Patrick with the delicious comida tipica at La Chata. He was also able to help Father Hidalgo rile up the locals and start a new war for independence, which was very exciting for him.

An evening of good drinks and better friends at co-worker Pablo's swinging new pad sealed the deal on a great day in the city. Score: Guadalajara-is-Fun: 2, Mexico-is-Awful: 0.

Friday was supposed to be a trip to Guachimontones, but that got rained out. Fortunately, it turned out, as Patrick deadpanned "If we miss it, I'll still sleep tonight." We settled for introducing Patrick to the joys of chilaquiles and then making a day of it at Zoológico Guadalajara, which I suppose was a better option, as Patrick had been saying for two days that he really wanted to go there and I had been halfway ignoring him. The zoo was fun, as usual, but the line for the safari was ridonkulous and we had to forego the giraffe feeding. But Patrick was very amused by our Lindsay Lohan sighting:

Hey...you were in "Mean Girls," right?

A fun addition to the zoo is a Diego Rivera-inspired mural at the entrance that features depictions of many important-to-Mexico items, including Los Gigantes. Score: Guadalajara-is-Fun: 3, Mexico-is-Awful: 0.

Saturday...now, Saturday was the true star of this vacation. For that is the day that we boarded the Tequila Express. What this means is that we hopped on a train bound for the Herradura distillery and started drinking tequila-based drinks at 10am, took a tour of said distillery, had a lunch buffet and more tequila, listened to some mariachi, watched some Ballet Folklórico, took in some Suertes Charras (National sport involving lasso tricks), and hopped back on the Guadalajara bound train for some more tequila. Yep, you guessed it: Guadalajara-is-Fun: 4, Mexico-is-Awful: 0.

Sunday brought a whirlwind tour of the artisan markets of Tonalá before a sad return to the airport. Patrick was observed as grumpily stating "I've seen all of this stuff before," only to find two things he couldn't live without moments later, bringing our final score to: Guadalajara-is-Fun: 5, Mexico-is-Awful: 0.

Since his trip, Patrick has maintained contact with some of our new friends here in Guadalajara via Facebook, has attempted and failed to find chilaquiles worthy of the name in Houston, and has vaguely talked about a return visit to Mexico.

So there you have it, folks. Mexico ain't half bad. We've now had two successful visits and nobody has left traumatized. If you've thought about visiting, please do. We have about a year left before a new adventure begins in parts unknown.

And as for Gwen and Patrick, the only souls brave enough to make the journey thus far?

Y'all come back now, y'hear?

California Dreams

2011-09-25T10:06:00.006-04:00

Uh-oh. I've done it again. I've somehow managed to forget to want to blog. Bear with me as I correct this gross negligence and play catch up.

*Ahem.*

On September 1st we made yet another outing to Auditorio Telmex, this time to partake in some California Dreams with Katy Perry.

And let me just say right now that this...THIS...was The. Best. Concert. EVER.

In a move that was completely out of character since moving to Mexico, I did not bring my camera to the concert. This was partly due to the fact that I've been designated as the unofficial (i.e. not paid for my talents) photographer at work, and at any given time I find that the camera is at home and the charger is at work, or vice versa. Another contributor is that our new housekeeper likes to move things around. I'm talking finding-camera-chargers-under-the-bathroom-sink-behind-the-toilet-paper, EPIC moving things around.

So, on this night of nights with Katy Perry, I was forced to depend on the kindness of strangers. And who is stranger than my friends? Ha! Accompanying us on the trip to Candyland were our friends Genaro and Antonio. Both brought cameras. Both were very, very late in posting their photos on Facebook. Lame, guys. Very lame. Okay. They posted their photos two weeks ago. Half of the lame (and blame) belongs to me.

As I am wont to do, I pre-gamed the concert. You can infer from that all you want about my parking lot activities, and I'll neither confirm nor deny your accusations. But what I mean to say is that I Wikipedia'd the set list for the show in advance so that I could create the most awesomest Katy Perry playlist on my iPod.

Wiki didn't let me down, and what they showed is what we got:

California Dreams Setlist:

Teenage Dream

Hummingbird Heartbeat

Waking Up in Vegas

Ur So Gay

Peacock

I Kissed a Girl

Circle the Drain

E.T.

Who Am I Living For

Pearl

Not Like the Movies

The One That Got Away

Thinking of You

Hot n Cold

Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F)

Firework

Encore

California Girls

The show begins with a video segment in which a bored Katy is working at a butcher shop. She is fired for her lack of energy, and on her way home stumbles upon a bakery where she falls in love with the Baker's Boy. She returns home that evening, falling into a deep sleep where she dreams about needing to follow the Candyland road in search of her missing pet, runaway Kitty Purry.

Along the way, additional video segments and on-stage interludes helped to create a vibrant picture of what life within this innocent, playful, sexually charged (yes, you can be all three at once) Candyland is like.

Highlights of the show include:

A character named "Slot," who's name sounded remarkably like "Slut," helping to introduceWaking Up in Vegas
Mimes giving Katy a "special" brownie that hindered her good judgement, leading the way to Ur so Gay and Peacock
Upon realizing that the brownie has turned her into a Catwoman, Katy mouthed "What-the-F---?", which segued into...
The most incredible laser/light show ever during E.T.
Katy riding a cotton candy cloud to the cheap seats, where she performed Thinking of You
A dozen or so costume changes occurring on-stage during Hot n Cold, by way of sheets, boxes, and glitter storms

Katy is of course reunited with her pal Kitty Purry just in time for the grand finale. And what of the Baker's Boy? Why, he greets her with fresh baked goods just as she awakens from her candy land dreams, of course!

With its numerous wardrobe changes, tongue-in-cheek humor, lighting effects, lack of a political agenda, and (uncommon among other shows that try for the same) cohesive storyline, this is one show that I won't soon forget.

Nothing more to say other than that I hope this sees renewed life as a DVD/Blu-Ray release once the tour concludes.

¡TJ está enfermo! A Lesson for Foreign Service Families

2011-08-30T17:31:00.006-04:00

I woke up this morning to the sound of something we all dread: the alarm clock. The next thing I heard was even worse. "Aaron...please help me..."

It was coming from the bathroom.

"What?" I asked.

"..."

"Hell-ooo?" I retorted, not wanting to deal with this (whatever it was) so early in the morning.

"..."

"Oh, crap," I thought.

I opened the door to our master bathroom to find TJ lying flat on his back in a pool of his own sweat.

He had begun to feel nauseated just before dinner yesterday evening. The trend had continued throughout the night.

Frequent trips to the loo, a couple of cold showers to beat the sweats, unintelligible thoughts, and chattering teeth. This seemed fairly normal to me. If there's one thing TJ does not do well, it's be sick. He's had food poisoning before, so this was nothing knew. Heck, I've even found him sprawled out on a bathroom floor before.

The new part was having all of this happen in Mexico. We've both been lucky so far. I've had nothing more than the occasionally irritated digestive process and TJ himself was able to beat back a much less severe case of food poisoning early in our stay here thanks to some probiotics donated by a neighbor.

But today looked like a trip to the hospital was in order.

Apparently, the doctor thought so too. Three and a half hours, three intravenous infusions, three abdominal x-rays, two prescription medications, and $500 dollars later we were on our way home with only one thought on my mind:

"Geez, I am SO glad that my Spanish is improving."

I had expected to be nothing more than the chauffeur for today's excursion...yet I often found myself in the role of interpreter.

When a family makes the decision to join the Foreign Service, the only person that is required to learn the language spoken at their onward assignment is the officer him/herself. Even family members that work at the Embassy/Consulate like myself rarely need much skill in the host language.

That's how we justified my continuing my prior employment while TJ attended his six month language training last year.

But what do you do when your beloved officer is incapacitated and you find yourself in a hospital encountering what feels like the first person in eight months that doesn't speak English?

You find out (hopefully) that your own skills have been improving after all, that's what.

TJ was awake, yet slightly incoherent. His 3/3 Spanish language ability meant nothing today.

"Usted tiene dolor cuando esta caminando?" the doctor would ask.

"Um. Otra vez."

"Usted tiene dolor cuando esta caminando?" the doctor would repeat.

"...um..."

"He wants to know if it hurts when you walk," I would say, to my own surprise.

This would continue as TJ was asked when he last ate, and if he had any allergies.

When TJ was taken away for x-rays, the doctor asked me additional questions.

To my complete shock and awe, I was able to effectively (if not accurately on a grammatical level) have this important medical conversation in Spanish.

But what if I hadn't been able to? And what if something worse had happened and TJ wasn't able to communicate at all?

That's the take-away today folks. If your family is joining the Foreign Service, it is everybody's responsibility to learn how to effectively communicate.

Today we were lucky. Next time, a life might depend on it.

As for TJ, he's recuperating nicely and looking forward to getting back to work.

Tesoro Resort

2011-08-24T22:31:00.013-04:00

On Friday, August 19 TJ and I bailed out of work at 3pm, swung by the nearest Starbucks to pick up our friends Sergio and Gabriel (actual people, not nicknames for our favorite frappés), and set out for a weekend of fun and relaxation at Manzanillo's Tesoro Resort.

Located in the Mexican state of Colima, Manzanillo is a tourist destination frequented by the Guadalajara consular set. This would be our first visit.

Arriving just before sunset Friday evening, TJ and I rushed to our room where we promptly showered and changed clothes then ran to the boys' room to see who had the better view. They totally did. The jerks. The gorgeous Pacific Ocean panoramic that greeted us from their balcony was a stark contrast to the white concrete wall staring in from ours. Sigh.

Disappointed but not discouraged, we headed up to the 7th floor in hopes of catching the dinner show...only to find out that all the tables were full. It was suggested that we eat quickly down by the pool and come back up for the show, which would start in 15 minutes. Great idea, except there was a ginormous line outside full of ginormous people ready to get their grub on. So we settled for standing in the back of the theater to watch the show while filling our bellies with cheap resort booze.

I can't quite recall what the theme of that evening's performance was, but I think it was "Hussies." No, wait. It was "Decades." They performed hits from various decades. Get it? Clever. But yeah, I like my theme better. I present to you Exhibit A:

I swear by all that I hold holy, they are dressed in this hooker garb singing "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy." Seems slightly inappropriate. Or at least incorrectly themed, no? Not what I expect to see at the USO...

That was followed by what can only be called "The Future Trollop Parade," in which two adult women were brought out on stage to show three prepubescent girls how to strut on the catwalk. The girls then got their turn to show off, after which the audience voted by a round of applause on which was most likely to eventually get pregnant in the back of a Pontiac Sunfire on prom night...

Or something. My Spanish isn't the best and I was drinking, after all.

Next up were these fellas. They didn't look nearly as trashy as the last two acts, but they were certainly more exciting for the four of us. I'll give you one guess as to what they were singing.

After the admittedly horrible show was over, we all came to the conclusion that it had not been worth delaying dinner for. Then we went down to the pool restaurant to finally eat, ultimately deciding that dinner itself had not been worth the up-and-down the stairs routine from the previous hour.

We then headed to one of the restaurant bars, by which point we were all adequately absent of good judgement to allow Gabriel to talk us into entering a Hot Legs competition. I'm slightly mortified and will therefore not be sharing any photos...of me or TJ. Here are Gabriel and Sergio. Ha!

Saturday came and went with what can only be described as a huge improvement over the previous evening. The food was great, and so was the dinner show, which we managed to get into with plenty of seating to spare.

Saturday's theme was "Mexico," and it was chock full of spry young men dancing around in old man masks, ladies singing songs about Jaliscan pride (odd, given that we were in Colima), jump ropers, and Mexican hat dances. Nothing too negative (and therefore, nothing too funny, either) to say about that particular show, so instead I'll just share some photos.

But it was the daylight hours that made Saturday so amazing. Throughout my entire life I have found myself living within easy driving distance of one beach or another. And yet, I never went. Or at least never went willingly. Even our numerous trips to Key West came and went without toe touching sand.

And why is this?

Well, I suppose one answer could be that I don't like walking around with sand in my shorts. This much is certainly true. But with a shower and a change of clothes waiting in the room upstairs, that wouldn't have been a concern this time.

Another possibility could be that I worry about losing my contact lenses. Certainly true here, as I happened to be wearing my last pair. I've gone to get more since then, but that wouldn't have helped over the course of this particular weekend. Yet I dove right in, no fear.

I guess the true answer is that I've always been super self-conscious about my weight. That's something that I've touched on here in the past, and something that we'll touch on again in the very near future. I've always been too embarrassed to go to the beach. To go to the local pool. To go to a water park. That's the real reason, and I own it now. I'm getting older. No sense not doing things that might be fun due to some stupid mental block. So, I overcame it. And I had a blast.

And I can't wait to do it again.

Aurelio Atayde Presento: El Circo!

2011-08-18T21:08:00.012-04:00

I cannot believe how many circuses blow through this town. It seems like you can't turn around without almost getting run down by a clown car. In fact, I think there are no less than two circuses in town right now, at least having the decency to play different parts of town.

Long-time readers may know of the calamity that was our last attempt at going to the circus, when we found out that Circo do Portugal was feeding stray dogs to their lions. Actually, I think the whole Internet knows of our calamity. For some reason, that post always trends as one of my most viewed. Bizarre...Hah. Notice how I linked to it, to generate more traffic? Yeah, I'm shameless like that.

Anyway, our friend Sergio invited us to accompany him to the Atayde Circus last night, and I am happy to report that I did see stray dogs roaming the area, including the circus grounds, so I'm assuming that instead of dogs these lions eat baby seals or something as equally undomesticated. But I don't know. Sergio seemed to know when the show was gonna start, and I wasn't about to try and Google this place for more info. I learned my lesson the last time.

Now, having not been to the circus since, what, 1987 or so, I wasn't quite sure what to expect. A cursory glance at the circus grounds revealed a Big Top, several animal cages filled with moderately cheerful (or at least complacent) critters, and a bathroom that cost 10 pesos to use. I would have thought a number two might cost more, but it didn't. Anyway, the place looked okay, but not great.

And I'm not saying that we walked across the street to the liquor store and bought a six pack of Skyy Blue then snuck back into the car and guzzled it down before the show started...but it would certainly make for a more enjoyable circus.

And, oh my, did we enjoy the circus. Not that that's a confession. But between us we did have to spend about 70 pesos in that damned bathroom before the night was over.

Prior to the show we walked around and oogled the caged animals. TJ even got to pet a bear. This wasn't exactly sanctioned by the staff, but hey, Yogi had shoved himself against the corner of the cage, and his head was facing the other direction, so what else was one to do?

"Smell my bear!" TJ proudly proclaimed, shoving his hand towards my face. Wrinkling my nose, I declined in a tone that indicated judgement for his foolish actions, while silently I was wishing that I, too, had gotten to pet the bear. I'm sorry to report that there is no photo of the petting in action. We're stupid, but not stupid enough to stick a hand in a bear cage and keep it their long enough to adjust the focus.

At the start of the show, using my best gringo Spanish, I asked an attendant "Puedo tomar fotos?" She said no, and repeated this unfortunate response when I asked "Y sin flash?"

Whatever. I took 'em anyway. Cuz that's how I roll.

The photos aren't great, but I guess we can't expect much when the flash can't be used (Something about distracting people and having them fall to their deaths, or maybe startling animals and having them eat somebody. Pssh. Like that's ever happened.) and the shots have to be taken on the down low.

The one thing I respectfully chose not to photograph was the five tigers squaring off against their trainer. They already looked like they wanted to eat him, and I didn't want to give them any more reason to do so. That, and the crew had erected a cage to protect the customers. Very considerate, as we were sitting in the front row (VIP, baby!) but it totally jacked with my camera angles.

I have some great memories from the evening though. The opening act was a beautiful aerial piece on the flying silks. And the aerialist was nice to look at, too. Same for the guy that did the balancing act. He totally shot a balloon with an arrow using just his feet. Though it took two attempts. I'm guessing that was to add to the suspense and is no real reflection on his mastery of said skill. The one thing that I'm not quite sure of is what all the animals in the cages outside were for. None of them appeared in the show...

..but Mickey and Minnie Mouse roamed around during intermission. I'm not entirely sure what they're doing down here in Mexico, but based on their disheveled appearance, I'm going to go out on a limb and say they've been having too much fun on vacation.

Or, we could take moment to discuss how normal it is in Mexico to find random Disney characters wandering around. It happened here and is common just about anywhere children are found en masse. Mexico knows where the money's at.

The three clowns were great, and unlike their painted faced brethren in the United States, these fellas talk. A lot. They were really funny, and their mannerisms would lead one to believe that perhaps they might bat for "the other team" in their day-to-day lives. You know. MY team. And one of them looked like he might have been just a tiny bit on the completely buff side underneath that ridiculous pants/suspenders combo. Whee! This isn't him. He's actually sitting under the box waiting to pull a prank on an audience member (The standard one-guy-can-lift-the-weight-but-another-can't gag.), but this is the best I've got. Sigh.

And, yep, as suspected, he was totally buff, as we found out when the other two got into a tug-o-war with him and ripped his clothes off, revealing a very flattering two-piece polkadot bikini. No photo of this, though. You see, I had just gotten busted five minutes before when I took the amazing camel photo you see to your left. I mean, what was I supposed to do? The damn things walked right up to us. The lights were on. The shot was clear. I knew I was gonna get busted, but so what?

And then I missed the beefcake. Damn.

Worse than that, I missed the elephant that came out for the grand finale. I LOVE elephants. And because I got camel happy , I missed it.

But Sergio didn't. I leaned over and said "Get your camera out and take a photo. Now!" And he did. I'm much too respectful to deliberately break the house rules twice. But I'm not above calling someone else to action.

What? Don't judge me. Fight the power!

Which reminds me. Where is Sergio with my elephant photo? Oh well, I guess this one will have to do...

Hey, if we can pretend that that's really

Mickey and Minnie, we can pretend

this is an elephant.

Disneyland, or "THAT Could Have Been Better"

2011-08-10T23:06:00.006-04:00

Before Monday, July 25th, I had never been to Disneyland.

My parents had been, once, many years ago. They had moved to California seeking adventure and a change of pace shortly after my mom graduated high school. It's possible that I could have been born in Cali, if not for MiMi, my maternal grandmother, getting very sick a couple of years before I was born, resulting in my parents making an immediate move back to Texas.

I've talked in the past of my parents' reluctance to travel, so I need not spend time describing my many unsuccessful attempts at getting a trip to Disneyland or Disney World out of them. I eventually moved to Orlando and had countless wonderful adventures at Disney World, yet Disneyland still eluded me.

Shortly after arriving in Mexico, TJ and I decided that we would spend our November 2012 home leave traveling the west coast. These travels would include a stop in Anaheim so that we could experience my first time at Disneyland together. TJ's been before, but we both knew that I was totally going to be in kid-in-a-candyshop mode.

Once my plans for San Diego Comic Con had solidified, I teased the notion of going to Disneyland for a little sneak peak. TJ was at first reluctant, but later came around. Or at least pretended to.

Jarrett, my travel companion, was super excited.

Evan, our gracious host, was up for it, too.

Then I decided I didn't want to go to Disneyland because I'd rather save it for TJ. Plus, I wanted to maximize my time at Comic Con. Jarrett was disappointed, but seemed to understand. Or at least pretended to.

Evan, however, had latched onto the idea. I didn't want to disappoint my host, who was kind enough to let me crash on his couch for an entire week, so it was decided that Jarrett and I would spend our four days at the con as originally planned, and then Evan and I would go to Disney on Monday, the day before my return to Guadalajara.

A friend of Evan's met us at the entrance Monday morning, helped us score some discounted tickets, smuggled six or seven Fast Passes into our pockets, and proceeded to buy us corn dogs and apples using his company discount. Because nothing says "breakfast" like a Main Street corn dog. No, really, It was freakin' awesome.

Evan's friend (who shall remain nameless because I know how pshycho-crazy Disney can be about discounts, fast passes, etc.) hung out with us for several hours throughout the course of the day. He was incredibly friendly and thanks to his help we were able to ride everything that we wanted...except the Matterhorn, which was undergoing maintenance. Boooo!

We had a great time until around 3PM, when Evan's friend had to leave to prepare for his evening shift. At this point, Evan became quiet and less talkative. By 4PM, Evan had told me that he did not feel well, and had asked if he would be a bad friend if he did not drive me to the airport the next day. I suggested that, yes, he would be a bad friend, as I had asked him several times over the course of the week if he could take me, seeing as how it was across the US/Mexico border. Each time, it had been a resounding yes. Feeling that my response to his inquiry hadn't gained much traction, I asked if I needed to call Lisa to come get me in the morning. I was shocked that his response was in the affirmative.

Lisa did not seem very happy to get a call at 4pm asking for a 9:30am pickup on the opposite side of the border, but to her credit she picked me up and dropped me off with a smile on her face that in no way betrayed what had to be the nagging thought that maybe she should kill me and throw me in a ditch somewhere.

Now, to his credit, Evan had been saying that he felt he may be coming down with something for the last several days. Which I took into consideration by telling him that I thought it would behoove us to leave Disney and go home so that he could rest. The tickets were expensive, but I would understand; sick is sick, after all. Apparently, though, Disney is the best medicine...because he ended up wanting to stay at the park for six...more...hours.

Despite the enjoyment I had experienced earlier in the day, I can not possibly tell you how stressful the latter part of that day was...I was so freaked out about making my flight that I couldn't enjoy anything else.

Lisa...Your help was much appreciated, both coming and going! I can never repay your graciousness.

Evan's Friend...Thank you so much for the kindness you showed to a complete stranger. You definitely helped make the parts of the day that were enjoyable even more so than they otherwise could have been.

Jarrett...I am so sorry that you didn't get to go to Disneyland. Certainly if we had skipped the convention one day, we could still have seen most everything that we wanted to and enjoyed a Mickey Mouse day without worrying about travel arrangements back home.

Evan...Thanks for the couch and the trip to the zoo...but I have zero idea what the hell you were thinking at Disneyland.

TJ...Sorry that I just couldn't wait to see Disney with you. I'm gonna do my best to block this out so we can enjoy it together.

As so many prom queens have surly said, maybe it would have been better had I waited.

San Diego Comic Con 2011

2011-08-07T18:11:00.020-04:00

Tijuana was cool. The San Diego Zoo was fun. Disneyland (my next blog post) was better than I imagined. But this is where the meat and potatoes is, folks. THIS is why I made the trip in the first place: San Diego Comic Con International (July 21-24, 2011).

I have wanted to do this since I was 12 years old. But that just wasn't in the cards. My parents hate comics even more than they hate traveling. When I was in college, I was broke. When I was a young adult, I simply couldn't justify the cost. But this year? The time was finally right.

Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on your outlook *cough*TJ*cough*), the right time came at a juncture in my life in which I no longer care all that much about comic books.

Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on your outlook *cough*TJ*cough*), the right time came at a juncture in my life where He-Man and She-Ra have decided to make a massive comeback. And I'm all about enjoying me some of that. So's Jarrett, and our primary reason for attending the con was to see what sort of He-Man stuff Mattel had up their sleeves (For anyone that cares, there is a killer toyline available here).

Jarrett and I have been friends since Freshmen year at Texas A&M. Our love of comics and toys and all-things-adults-should-have-grown-out-of-by-now bonded us. Although we have lost touch off and on since our college days, for a number of unimportant reasons, we have really reconnected in the last couple of year thanks to this nerdy little hobby. Yet this was only the third time we have seen each other in the past eight years, and the first time that the reunion has lasted longer than three hours. It could have been awkward. But fortunately there was enough "shop talk" to keep us occupied. Even more fortunately, we found that we're still able to talk about normal things. But this is a Comic Con blog, so other than saying it was great to see him, it's time to get back to the business at hand.

I should be completely mortified discussing this with you. But I'm not, for three reasons: The first reason is that, since giving up comics, He-Man is my only vice. And one vice, no matter how nerdy, never hurt anyone, right? The second reason is that TJ thinks it is HILARIOUS to grab every visitor to our home, run upstairs, and show them my collection of He-Man and She-Ra figures. So, you see, I've become somewhat desensitized to the whole thing. The third reason is that I very seldom blog about anything completely nerdy, so I think you probably view me as fairly mainstream and can forgive this minor indulgence.

That said, I still don't plan on going overboard and giving you a play-by-play of He-Man toy reveals (which included a contest in which fans get the chance to create a new character, and an announcement that Mattel can finally, after 30 years, make toys of all the characters from the old cartoon). Instead, I invite you to take a look at a small sampling of the toy goodness one could have seen from a variety of companies at this year's convention. Pay special attention to the elephant, whose inclusion I teased in my previous blog post. Yes, I know. It was a very loose connection at best, but I was starving for a transitional statement...

The night of the He-Man reveals, Jarrett and I found ourselves at a local bar, where we met and had a drink with the Overlord of Evil himself, Skeletor. Needing a break from his quest for the secrets of Castle Grayskull, Skeletor has apparently decided to take a tour of Earth. His first stop was San Diego...

Yum, Yum Sunny D and Rum!

You can follow his exploits here. I'm only slightly mortified to admit that I signed up to have him come stay with me sometime soon...I'm much more mortified by the fact that I did, and Jarrett did not. His geek factor has skewed much higher than mine these past few years. But I may have just passed him with this.

Beyond our primary mission at the con, we saw and experienced lots of awesome things throughout the weekend.

I wish the next two pictures weren't so boring...because what they represent is actually quite amazing. The first photo is a Q&A with the cast of NBC's new drama, "Grimm," which followed a special viewing of the pilot episode. Not the best, but it has definite potential. The panel was hosted by Anthony Head, who played Giles on "Buffy the Vampire Slayer." It is but one example of the many celebrity appearances that accompanied movie/tv previews at the con. Sadly, it's the only one we saw...

The second picture is from the "Gays in Comics" panel, in which several gay and straight comic book professionals discussed the importance of homosexual characters in modern comic books. Of particular interest here are Robert Kirkman, creator of "The Walking Dead," and Dan Parent, creator of Riverdale's first ever gay character, Kevin Keller. I was so impressed with this presentation that I did something I haven't done in over two years: I bought a comic book. Not just one, but four. And at the Archie booth, of all places. But you know what? I want to support this. Archie comics are some of the earliest comics I remember reading. And I can't help but wonder what having a normal gay kid interacting with all of those other normal kids would have meant to me way back when. I want this to succeed.

Stepping off of the soap box...

Does this awesomeness even need an explanation?

And this! Not only is this just all sorts of geektastic...

...but the simple taking of this picture helped a great cause. The DeLorean seen here is one of the actual cars used in the filming of "Back to the Future III." A $20 donation to Team Fox, Michael J. Fox's Foundation supporting Parkinson's research, made this possible. They were really great about it, too. They took one photo, which they e-mailed to me, and then allowed me to take several pics with my own camera. The booth, hosted by Profiles in History, also featured several props from the films, including hover boards, Marty's cowboy hat, Grays Sports Almanac, and a Frisbie's Pie pan.

Voltron's apparently making a comeback. To advertise/commemorate/pimp the event, a scavenger hunt was held. If you could find all five cardboard cutouts of the Voltron lions and scan them with your QR-Code Reader (able to be downloaded from your smart phone's App Store) you would not only be entered into a sweepstakes of some sort, but you'd receive one complimentary button that corresponds with whatever lion you scanned. Apparently, everyone and their mother was trying to download the application. Standing at the Mattel booth (makers of Voltron toys), Jarrett explained that he had waited 10 minutes for the app to dowload with zero results, while I explained that I currently live in Mexico and my smart phone is nothing more than an overpriced iPod at the moment, and that I frankly didn't even know that a QR doohickey was available or how to use it because I am so pathetically out of touch and that it is sooo unfair to persecute an American citizen like this when he clearly can't help his current circumstances. And that is how we both received our Blue Lion buttons.

Cleverly deducing the location of the second lion (by asking the Mattel guy where we should go next) we proceeded to obtain the Red Lion button by utilizing the same old sob story. This tactic failed miserably with lions three, four, and five...which were all displayed in a noncreative manner side by side in front of the Hard Rock Hotel. Like, can we get a little effort here? As was to be expected, those that cared not about the challenge of a scavenger hunt also cared not for the plights of the those-unable-to-download. Not to be deterred, Jarrett hiked up his pants and pitched the mother of all hissy fits, which resulted in both of us walking away with a complete set of buttons, leaving three irritated volunteers in our wake. Boo-ya, rhymes-with-witches! And we still haven't entered your contest!

But if you don't care about Voltron, here's your "Ooh, I'm jealous" moment of the day...

Yeah, that's Chris Evans. So what If I could barely see him? I mean, how close did YOU get? Chris was on-site promoting this summer's second Marvel blockbuster, "Captain America." It was an unannounced appearance, and as such I was unable to plot and execute a proper kidnapping. Oh well. I'll always have my memories of the poorly planned event, which consisted of him standing on the Marvel stage in the middle of the freakin' sales floor, creating a cluster mug of a traffic jam which could only be handled by threats of being thrown to the curb by convention staff if we didn't put our cameras down and keep walking. Hey, here's an idea: How about holding celebrity appearances in convention halls so that you can control the flow of traffic without resorting to idle threats directed at your customers? Nah. That probably makes too much sense.

Well, it's almost time to leave the convention behind, but I think that I've saved the best for last. Anyone who knew I was going to SDCC asked if I was dressing up. I always crinkled my nose and said "Oh, God, no." And yet, having seen all of the costumed characters in person, I think that maybe one day it would be fun to dress up. Maybe for a day. Not the whole time. Those that do cannot possibly enjoy themselves, having to stop constantly to take pictures for a-holes like myself. If/when my costume day comes, I fully encourage you all to make fun of me. For now, just make fun of these crazy cats. I've been kind enough to provide Wikipedia links to all of them, in case you have no clue who they are supposed to be.

Cobra's Baroness vs. GI Joe's Stalker

Voltron Force's Pidge & Keith

Emperial Soldiers having a clearance sale on Slave Leia's;

Link poses with somebody even I don't know...

Two Teela's, one Orko, and...

some other rare Eternian creature.

Green Lanterns can be male or female. Not so sure about Aquamen.

Thundercats, Hooooo!

Me and Marty McFly at the Mattel Booth;

Drag Queen Galactus and 1602's Captain America

And with that we must unfortunately end our magical journey through the land of the geeks. I'm as sad to stop writing about it as I was to leave the real-life experience. Just as there aren't enough words to express how overwhelmingly stressful or how overwhelmingly enjoyable the convention was, there wasn't enough time in the day to experience all of the convention goings-on. I hope to return one day. I also hope to convince TJ to come along. I truly think he would have fun. Time will tell.

But before we go, here's one final photo that, taken during my final hour at the convention on Sunday, perfectly captures how I would feel exactly 24 hours later at Disneyland. Jarrett, who had left earlier in the day to return to Texas, was kind enough to share his final entry ticket with our host, Evan. Evan and I spent a couple of hours at the con on Sunday, in which I showed him the highlights...inadvertently posing the precognitive question...

Has Evan given in to the power of...the Dark Side?

San Diego Zoo

2011-08-07T15:53:00.004-04:00

July 20th, the first full day of my California adventure (no, not that California Adventure. But I did make my way to Disneyland later in the week...), saw me heading to the San Diego Zoo. And, thanks to my friend Evan, who "knows a guy," I was able to walk through the entrance with a complimentary ticket. Which is a good thing. I don't care what zoo you are. You are not worth $40 USD.

Yeah, I said it. I guess I've been spoiled by the cheap-to-free zoos located in Mexico and Washington DC.

But if you can ignore (or avoid) the lofty entry fee, you will definitely find yourself in one of the most impressive zoos you're apt to ever visit.

The absolute most amazing thing about the San Diego Zoo, and the first thing I want to talk about, is actually one of the last things I saw during my visit. It's such a modest, unpresumptuous exhibit that I almost missed it entirely. And Evan, making his third visit to the zoo, was seeing it for the first time. In a small holding area (sounds better than "cage," right?) towards the back of the zoo there's a whole lot of inter-species mingling going on.

Bakka the cheetah and Miley the husky mix are part of the zoo's animal ambassadors program. Basically, this means that baby cheetahs and wolves are thrown into cag--holding areas with puppies of a similar age. They play, eat, and sleep together, which results in a deep bond of friendship that lasts a lifetime. Apparently they are raised so that the dog fills the alpha role in the relationship, and the savage beast follows its lead. Unless it eats the dog, of course.

The rest of the day, was filled with your typical zoo fair. And lets face it, I've already blogged about zoos. So bear with me while I share the highlights.

Speaking of bears...

The SDZ's Polar Bear habitat offered me the closest view I've ever had of a polar bear. There were two of these galoots in there, and I had no idea how ginormous they actually were. They seemed to be playing. Or possibly mating. Or maybe trying to kill each other. Never could tell, but they looked totally adorable while doing it.

Artificial Polar and Panda Bears make a nice segue

between discussions of the real deal...

The SDZ also offered the best view of a Panda Bear that I've ever had. And they should. Lord know they tout the creature's presence here as their biggest selling point. Pandas are an endangered species, and only a dozen or so reside in North American zoos. Of those five zoos, four are located in the United States. The other is located in Mexico City. Of the three remaining North American zoos, I have visited one: The National Zoo in DC. Knowing that I have seen 3/5 of the Panda Zoos on this continent, I am pained at having never blogged about the National Zoo. Must have visited during one of my moody, non-blogging periods. Sigh.

Gao Gao the Panda has, at 19 years old, fathered four cubs by natural mating. Not sure how many he's had by unnatural mating, but I wonder if that's where Koalas come from?

Flamingos are birds. And birds are filthy creatures.

But this is a pretty fabulous shot, I think.

Random photo insertion, as I have nothing else to say about it. Ta-Dah!

What you see here is a tired Mamma Rhino. And an amorous Daddy Rhino. He kissed her booty. He caressed her flank. He nibbled her ear. He pushed and shoved and she just wouldn't yield. Mamma had a long day and she wasn't in the mood. Finally, dejected, he walked away with shoulders slouched. And that's when I learned waaay too much about the anatomy of the male rhino. I won't diminish the wholesome nature of this (generally) family friendly blog by going into detail. But feel free to satiate your blatant curiosity and utilize our good friend, Google.

The zoo is huge, and in the end I wasn't able to see all of it. But it was still a great day at the world's most famous zoo, even if the only elephant (one of my fave zoo animals) I saw was this topiary.

Oddly enough, it wasn't the last artificial elephant I would see on this vacation. But more on that next time...when we head to San Diego Comic Con 2011.

The Zonkey Show

2011-07-31T21:45:00.010-04:00

When I started planning my first ever pilgrimage to the San Diego Comic Con (oh, don't worry...that blog is coming soon) with my friend Jarrett, the chief concern was cost. A four-day pass to the convention is about $100. Plane tickets back to the states looked to be a minimum of $600, and hotel reservations that coincide with a big event (i.e. SDCC) can set you back a thousand or more.

A little research determined that I could fly into Tijuana and hoof it across the US/Mexico border for around $300 bucks. Evan, an old friend from college that currently lives in San Diego, was kind enough to let us mooch some couch space. And Jarrett, giddy at not having to pay for a hotel room, footed the bill for my convention tickets (At least I think he did. If I was supposed to pay you, just let me know...).

Sounded great! My only concern was how, pray tell, I was supposed to get from Tijuana to San Diego.

That's when I decided to contact my good Facebook friend and blog buddy, Lisa. Lisa is an EFM like me, accompanying her husband on his Foreign Service adventure to glamorously exotic foreign locales. Current post: Tijuana. Blog: Click Here.

Lisa and I hold the distinction of stalking each other online and having attended the same FS events without having ever officially met. So it was a complete surprise when we had the following conversation:

Me: "Hey. I have a question."

Her: "Ok..."

Me: "What is the easiest way for me to get from the Tijuana airport into San Diego."

Her: "Having me drive you there. Send me your flight details."

Me: "..."

On Tuesday, July 19th, Lisa not only picked me up at the airport, but drove me to downtown Tijuana so I could see what I have always felt is the most awesomest thing she has ever blogged about: A Zonkey! Now, I find it hard to believe that I could say this any better than Wikipedia, so I won't try:

A zonkey is a cross between a zebra and a donkey. "Zonkey" is not the technically correct name for such a cross. The most commonly accepted terms are zebonkey (or zebronkey), zebrinny, zebrula, zebrass, and zedonk (or zeedonk). Another name that is sometimes used is "zebadonk".

and...

Zonkeys are very rare. In South Africa, they occur where zebras and donkeys are found in proximity to each other. Like mules, however, they are generally genetically unable to breed, due to an odd number of chromosomes , disrupting meiosis.

Okay, so now we know that they aren't a total fraud...but the Wikipedia post says nothing about Mexican zebadonks. A quick Google search turned up something of interest from tripandom.com:

Going back to the thirties some bright entrepreneur in Tijuana Mexico decided to paint their donkey with black and white stripes to look like a Zebra, the idea was to make the animal look better on black and white photographs. Most of the donkey’s were white or fairly light and photographed badly in the bright Mexican sun. Like any good idea, others followed and decades later the tradition continues. The zonkeys or painted donkey are there for the tourist, it’s amazing how many people will spend the $10 or so to have themselves photographed wearing silly Mexican hats and ponchos with these dopey striped animals.

I bet your pardon. It may have been fake, but I only paid $5 for my photo, thank you very much.

After humoring my adolescent curiosity, Lisa was gracious enough to not only take me to the border, but also a little further into San Diego so that Evan could find me more easily.

Oh, I should also mention our friend Vicente. He doesn't have a blog, and I've seen him in person lots of times. But he's still super cool because he drove me to the airport, bought me breakfast, and helped me check in. No, i'm not airport-ically challenged. I'm capable of checking in on my own. But he works for the airline I was flying on, so he was able to expedite the process.

Honorable mention to our friend Serch, who offered to take me to the airport when it looked like Vicente might not be able to.

Lisa, Vicente, and Serch. Such great friends The hospitality on the southern side of the border is amazing, and I am eternally grateful.

And yet, I was soon to learn that the northern side can be a bit more...difficult.

Surprise Visitor

2011-07-31T16:28:00.007-04:00

We received a very pleasant surprise in mid-June when our French friend Gwen contacted us via Facebook.

Gwen: "What are you doing this weekend.?"

Us: "Nothing."

Gwen: "Would it be okay if I came for a visit?"

Us: "Um. Sure. From Paris?"

Gwen: "Yes."

Us: "Okay. How long would you like to stay?"

Gwen: "Just Friday night through Sunday morning."

Us: "Um. Okay?"

Dear readers, I cannot even begin to express how flattering it is to know that there are people out there that care enough about us to spend what had to be over $1,000 USD and 17 hours (more or less when you throw in layovers) in travel time both ways just to spend a weekend with us.

(Especially since all of our US friends have been too scared/busy/disinterested to show up thus far. You know who you are.)

Because of this, we wanted to make sure he had a fantastic time. Friday night we scooped him up from the airport and enjoyed a lively night out on the town.

The next day we woke up ridiculously early and our friend Antonio joined us in Tequila for a tour of Mundo Cuervo, one of our favorite things to do in/around Guadalajara...probably because of the free samples.

Nothing says "good time" like a free margarita

The next picture is only being shown because it'll probably embarrass Gwen. See what a good friend I am?

Hairnets must be worn inside the distillery

so that you don't get your funk in the tequila

Pictured here is a cookie. This cookie is made out of Agave fibers. You see, there is a lot of waste created in the production of Tequila. Once all of the juices and whatnot have been squeezed out of the plant, there's not much use for the plant. Rather than simply throw it away, tequila distillers have started to come up with creative ideas for the use of the byproduct. They've started making paper products. And cookies. Now, you might be thinking to yourself, "Self, I just can't imagine a cookie that is made from things that are also used to make paper could taste very good." And you'd be right. This was by far the most disgusting, flavorless thing I have ever eaten. And that green goop on top that's supposed to be in the shape of an agave plant? Well, you'd think that surely that would have some flavor to it. But you'd be wrong.

We returned to Guadalajara in time for lunch at El Abajeño, where I had shared a delicious birthday dinner with friends in March. It was then that we learned that El Abajeño does not have a knack for consistency. But we got to see some native dancing...

...which was a good segue into Sunday morning, in which we took in a performance of the Ballet Folklórico at Teatro Degollado (but don't' tell our friend Genaro! He's been wanting to take us for months. Oh, wait. He reads this sometimes. Oops.).

We also spent some time roaming around El Centro showing Gwen the sights...but I had a Winnie the Pooh moment and forgot to bring my camera. Lame-o.

We returned home at 4pm for a quick power nap so that we'd be well rested for a final night on the town...only to wake up nine hours later. A note on the coffee table informed us that Gwen was adventurous enough to take himself out on the town, so TJ and I went back to bed like the old men we are clearly becoming.

Thanks for the visit, Gwen. It meant the world to us. We hope you had enough fun to join us in our future adventures around the world. We promise to take some caffeine pills next time.

Guadalajara's Top 20, Number 7: Ajijic

2011-07-31T13:49:00.005-04:00

Wow, it has been forever since I did an entry in the Top 20 series (In all fairness, our visit to Ajijic occurred on May 30th, but even accounting for that, it has still been a while...). Good thing I still have about 15 months left here in GDL to get through the final 13 entries!

It's a shame that this falls into the Top 20 series, because "Mexico: It's Closed on Mondays" would have been a much more suitable title.

Monday, May 30th, was Memorial Day. And since diplomats living abroad enjoy the benefit of observing most US and local holidays, we found ourselves spending a Monday away from the office. We took advantage of this and invited our friend Antonio to come visit from Tepatitlán. This would be an excellent opportunity to take him to the zoo, which he had been wanting to see and we had been putting off.

Except after driving to the zoo, we found that it is closed on Mondays.

So then we drove back home, deciding to walk around our neighboring municipality, Zapopan. This would be great, as I have not yet blogged about Zapopan (and really, it's all about blogging). We parked and headed to a local Greek restaurant, hoping to grab some lunch. Except that, at noon they were still only serving breakfast. And not even Greek breakfast. No, it was chilaquiles...a delicious meal, to be sure, but certainly not what I want to take away from a Greek dining experience. So we excused ourselves and decided to walk to a nearby museum.

Except it, too, is closed on Mondays.

Frustrated and not knowing what else to do, I suggested that we go to Ajijic. It's a nearby town that we had not yet been to (meaning that I hadn't blogged about it), and is for all intents and purposes the sister city to Chapala, which was my first entry in this series.

Like Chapala, Ajijic is home to a large number of retired Americans and Canadians (est. 7,000) that wish to experience life in a small Mexican community while not being too far removed from the conveniences and luxuries offered by life in the big city.

Ajijic offers quite the array of activities for the country club set: golf, tennis, horseback riding, and boating, to name but a few. The town is full of tiny art galleries, restaurants, and boutiques. It comes equipped with your standard town square & church combo that we have found to be so common in Mexico.

There's also this really awesome looking dive bar located on the dock called The Pier and Bar/Restaurant. I say it looks awesome, not that it is awesome. I wouldn't know if it actually is or not.

Because it appears to be closed on Mondays.

We were only in Ajijic for about an hour before we got bored and headed over to Chapala. We got bored pretty quickly there, too, but at least we were able to find a restaurant that was open for lunch...though I guess the Greek restaurant may have been open for lunch by this time, too.

After visiting Ajijic and revisiting Chapala...especially having now seen all of the other wonderful things I have seen since the initial visit...I frankly don't see how either could make it onto a Top 20 list. They're great for what they are, but at the end of the day they're just small towns like any other. I wonder if it's the large concentration of Americans and Canadians that allowed them to wrangle two slots on the Top 20 list away from worthier candidates?

Mexico City, Day 7: Diego Rivera, the National Palace, and Frida Kahlo, Too!

2011-07-30T15:46:00.010-04:00

Bear with me folks...we are now, finally, entering our last day in Mexico City (Well, there was an eighth day, but that was mainly travel, so I'll spare you the boring details)!

Our seventh day in Mexico City began with a very nice complimentary piece to Day Six's visit to the anthropology museum.

Whereas yesterday we learned many things about the societal origins of the indigenous peoples of Mexico, today's visit to the Palacio Nacional taught us many things about the country's political history.

The National Palace has acted as a base of operations for Mexico's ruling class since the days of the Aztec empire. It is currently home to various offices for both the Federal Treasury and National Archives. And, of course, a sprawling museum exhibit.

Visitors to the palace are first treated to (or horrified by, depending on your outlook) a video honoring the 2010 bicentennial of Mexico's independence, as well as the centennial of it's Revolution. The video is 100% propaganda and, although beautifully rendered with copious amounts of national pride, did have the (un)intentional consequence of making the only two gringos in the room feel just a tad bit out of place.

Upon exiting the indoctrination chamber...I mean viewing room, one is treated to a gigantic mural painted by Diego Rivera. "The Epic of the Mexican People" (1929-1935) adorns the main stairwell and various walls of the second floor. It tells an illustrative history of Mexico from 1521 to 1930. The murals have the honor of being the only items in the palace that one can photograph. So, here's a small sample for you.

Remember waaaaay back on Day 1.5, when we talked about the relocation of the bodily remains of the heroes of Mexico's War of Independence? Well, the National Palace is their current resting place. Ta-Dah! The remains underwent modern techniques for continued preservation before arriving at their current location by way of horse-drawn carriages escorted by armed soldiers. They will remain on display at the palace through the duration of this year's celebration.

The remainder of the museum contains an impressive collection of presidential portraits, the style of which changes with each decade and artist. As with Chapultepec Castle (and the White House, Versailles, etc.) there are also dozens of rooms cordoned off by velvet rope permitting a look-but-don't touch approach to palatial living.

Our final stop of the day (and trip) was the former home of Diego Rivera (see above) and Frida Kahlo.

La Casa Azul was the birthplace of Frida Kahlo, the most renowned Latin American artist in the world. It was in this house that she lived for a time with her husband, artist Diego Rivera. In 1958, four years after her death, La Casa Azul was turned into a museum, and has remained so ever since.

This particular museum was of great interest to us, and we thought that perhaps we had saved the best for last. We unfortunately found ourselves more than a little disappointed by the modest blue house. It was by no means a large collection of art. But at least what they did have was beautiful.

But like the National Palace, photography was not permitted.

I found myself harassed by the staff on more than one occasion. Once, when I was yelled at to throw away a soda bottle (empty since before my entrance, I assure you, and seen by at least two employees prior to it suddenly becoming a security issue) and again when our path through the museum was called into question. Apparently your entry fee of $65 MXP only permits you to walk through the museum once, and in a specified direction.

But the sugar cookies in the small cafeteria were good. And the interior courtyard was beautiful.

But, alas...since photos are worth a thousand words, and I have no more photos...I find myself out of things to say about this particular destination.

Good-bye, Mexico City...I hope to see you again some day!

Mexico City, Day 6: Museo Nacional de Antropología

2011-07-28T20:24:00.012-04:00

Located in the heart of the San Francisco Sierra in the state of Baja California Sur, the Painted Cave is one of the most important ceremonial centers featuring "cave art" in the North of Mexico...This composition, reproduced at almost full size, shows a fragment of this great wall painting.

This imagery, and the accompanying text, are the first thing to greet visitors of Mexico City's impressive, expansive, Anthropology Museum.

One barely finds himself scratching the surface of this sprawling collection before being hit by a dawning realization:

"Now I understand. I know why US Anthropology museums suck."

It's because the United States has very little anthropology to speak of.

From a purely scientific standpoint, Merriam-Webster defines anthropology as "the study of human beings and their ancestors through time and space and in relation to physical character, environmental and social relations, and culture."

Look Familiar? How about now?

Okay. Great. But we as Americans don't identify with our Native American predecessors who were first to roam the land. We define ourselves by the colonial settlers who founded the United States of America. Our history begins in 1776. 1492 if we're going back to Columbus's arrival. That's only 235 years. 519, tops. And even then, humanity as it is now known had pretty much developed. America must look east, towards Europe, for it's anthropologic origins.

But Mexicans? They cast a much wider chronological net. Mexico was first populated over 13,000 years ago. Complex indigenous cultures were prevalent long before the Spaniards arrived. And although there is no argument that, as in the United States, a mixing of races occurred, Mexico managed to hold onto it's identity. The United States was born in Europe. Mexico was born in Mexico.

And because of this, one does not feel quite so detached when viewing these ancient artifacts. Because one understands that they are still pertinent to the people that live here.

The pottery. The hand-carved figurines. The reproductions of burial grounds and family housing. The native clothing. They are all relevant to the people of Mexico. Because chances are, their ancestors possessed these things. And, perhaps, painted the wall that opens this blog post.

In the United States, history museums are a fascinating look back at the origins of our independence, while anthropology museums are a quirky footnote in time. In Mexico, history and anthropology are forever linked.

Perhaps one day the US can say the same.

Or maybe not...

"Hulk SMASH history!"

Mexico City, Day 5.5: Zoológico de Chapultepec

2011-07-28T19:10:00.002-04:00

Our day in Chapultepec Park continued with a visit to Zoológico de Chapultepec (est. 1923).

A day at the zoo is always relaxing...and yet incredibly stressful. Relaxing because you don't have to actually do anything. You just walk around and look at the pretty (or pretty ugly) animals. Eat a hot dog. Drink a Coke. Nothing to it, right?

Wrong.

Because, you see, I am a shutterbug. I take pictures of everything. And I don't want to just take any old picture. I want the perfect picture. And do you know how hard it can be to take that perfect picture at the zoo? Half the time the animals are hiding/sleeping in a secluded area. And the rest of the time they are sleeping out in the open with their butts pointed straight at you.

Chapultepec Zoo really is no exception. We left Chapultepec Castle walking at a brisk pace (and by "we" I mean TJ. I was busy taking pictures of water and trees and trash cans or something. We (TJ) knew that the zoo would be closing in just a couple of very short hours and we (TJ) had to cram as much into those hours as possible.

We spent the majority of those hours walking up to cages/dens/areas of captivity, looking at the empty surroundings, reading the nearby sign post, and walking away at least knowing what we SHOULD have seen.

You see, there are two types of zoos. There is the kind that puts the animals first, meaning that they have lots of space to eat, frollick, and sleep, thus greatly reducing your chances of seeing them. And then there is the kind that locks the animals in teeny, tiny cages where they are miserable but you can see them readily. I suppose this zoo falls into the former category. Good for the critters, bad for the visitors.* But hey, it was free.

Why is it that the camels always pose so well?

This half-blind bird stalked a squirrel and entertained us for 10 mintues.

(The squirrel survived)

I got a great shot of a real rhino...but this is my fave.

This is the face that matches the butt posted above...

Things weren't all bad, though, and we were able to snap a few pretty pictures. And by "we" I mean me. TJ was too busy walking briskly.

Though I suppose one could make the argument that it was totally my fault that the zoo closed before we finished our walkthrough...

*Before anybody gets uppity, I do not now, nor have I ever, condoned the unethical treatment of animals. I love animals. They're delicious.**

**Before anybody else gets uppity, I sincerely believe that animals should be allowed to live out their lives with the utmost peace and dignity. I am an omnivore, so yes I eat certain types of animals...but I firmly believe that they should all be treated with respect while living their short lives, and even more so when those lives are taken. Except snakes. Snakes suck and should die horribly.***

***Before anybody gets uppity about snakes, I...well. No, I got nothing. I really, truly, deeply hate snakes.

But I LOVE squirrels! Look at this little guy! He's eating ice cream!

Awww. I hope he's not lactose intolerant...

Mexico City, Day 5: Chapultepec Castle

2011-07-27T21:20:00.013-04:00

I returned from a week of fun and excitement in San Diego yesterday afternoon...with a brand new Macbook in tow. What this means is that I can finally resume blogging! And as much as I would love to share my California adventures with all of you RIGHT NOW, I feel that I must continue this blog chronologically, and so we now return to Mexico City before any more of its vividness is lost forever.

This is Mexico City, Day 5. And although I write this on July 27, these experiences occurred on May 19th. Yes, we are that far behind. Sigh.

Day five saw us venturing into El Bosque de Chapultepec, or Chapultepec Park. Measuring in at a whopping 686 hectares (1695 acres), it is the largest city park in Latin America. For anyone that is curious, New York City's Central Park is only 843 acres.

Prior to Spain's occupation of Mexico, the park was something of a retreat for Aztec rulers. Chapultepec Castle was erected during colonial times and holds the honor of being the only Royal Castle on the American Continent. Emperor Maximilian I resided here during the Second Mexican Empire, which also makes this the only Royal Castle in North America that was used to house sovereigns. But that isn't what makes this location so important.

On September 13, 1847, los Niños Héroes ("Boy Heroes") died while defending the castle from US forces during the Battle of Chapultepec (Mexican-American War). The castle served as the national military academy at the time of the attack. Although Santa Ana allowed the boys to retreat, many stayed behind to defend their home. One boy, Juan Escutia, is said to have wrapped himself in a Mexican flag and thrown himself from the building in lieu of surrendering. A mural painted on the ceiling above a stairwell in the main entrance of the castle honors them.

A statue situated at the east entrance of the park, Monumento a los Niños Héroes, contains six columns, each of which represents a child that died during the battle. They are:

Juan de la Barrera
Juan Escutia
Francisco Márquez
Agustín Melgar
Fernando Montes de Oca
Vicente Suárez

September 13th is a national celebration known as "Dia de Los Niños Heroes de Chapultepec."

The castle became the Museo Nacional de Historia under a 1939 decree by President Lázaro Cárdenas.

In its current capacity, the castle acts as a palacial museum, playing host to many stereotypical palacial museum-type things, including:

Fancy living quarters, fancy staircases...

...fancy courtyards, and fancy stained glass windows

I've had the pleasure of visiting similar locations in the past, but this was by far one of the most expansive and well preserved/cared for. I'd go so far as to call it the Versailles of Mexico.

And, as such, visitors should take care to respect their surroundings. So, please...

...always remember to have your friend turn the flash off before he pushes the button...

Ocho Años Juntos

2011-07-10T20:09:00.003-04:00

Today marks the eighth anniversary of the day TJ and I looked at each other, decided we probably couldn't do much better without a lot of effort (and who needs that hassle?), and settled down together.

We met shortly after my mid-May 2003 arrival in Orlando. I had just completed my BBA at Texas A&M and was having one of those "Anywhere But Here" moments. I fled the state of Texas as quickly and quietly as possible and headed for the only other place I had ever known (thanks to a 2002 internship at Disney).

I arrived on the scene with a whole lot of no's: No Job. No Savings. No Friends. No Clue.

Then I met TJ. He started out as a wonderful friend that helped me find my first full-time, post-college job. He soon became a wonderful boyfriend that gave me my first (and, I'll brazenly assume, last) serious adult relationship.

Almost seven years later, as we were leaving Orlando to move to DC and begin this crazy Foreign Service adventure, my life looked completely different. I had a good job, modest saving, great friends, and, if not "A" clue, then I had at least managed to purchase the board game somewhere along the way.

And now, a year after that? We live in Mexico. Freakin' Mexico! And we love it. Who in the world would have thought something like this would ever happen?

Certainly not me.

Thanks, babe. I can't wait to see what happens next.

Hell Week

2011-07-07T20:18:00.005-04:00

Depending on your stage or vocation in life, the term "Hell Week" could refer to a number of different things.

Perhaps you are pledging a fraternity and are in for an old fashioned hazing.
Or maybe you are desperately cramming for your final exams.
You might be in the midst of your Police Academy or Navy SEAL training.
Or are you an actor going through technical rehearsals?

Most of that sounds fun, if not a wee bit painful/stressful. Sadly, my Hell Week was a monster all its own.

One of the job requirements for Foreign Service Officers here in Mexico is that you return to DC for a training called "Name Check" after you've hit your six-month mark at post. What it's about or whether you actually learn anything new, I couldn't say. I'm not a Foreign Service Officer, so I didn't have to go. Now, I did have the option of going and enjoying some vacation time while TJ worked, but since I leave for vacation in San Diego on July 19th, and especially since the thought of DC causes the slightest hint of bile to rise in my mouth, I decided to stay behind. And I gotta say, the thought of some alone time was appealing. I mean, we work, eat, and sleep together. Sometimes, you just want some space. So how'd that space work out for me?

Well, TJ was gone Saturday, June 25th through Sunday, July 3rd. While he was off enjoying "Mamma Mia!" at Wolftrap and "Wicked" at the Kennedy Center, I was falling victim to one calamity after another. Let us count them off, shall we?

On Wednesday, June 29th, at approximately 9:00PM, Chloe decided to get a little territorial and attack Zelda over a bowl of kibble. I have now been to the vet on no less than four separate occasions. One final trip is scheduled for Sunday morning, at which point the stitches will be removed.

On Thursday, June 30th, at roughly 7:00AM, I took a tumble down the stairs. I'm being a little dramatic here, as i only fell down two stairs and landed safely without injury. But I did have a horrifying moment of imagining myself having to call the neighbor for help, as I was naked as a bluejay.

Gravity (that cruel mistress) attacked again later that day, this time resulting in a collision with a brick pathway on my afternoon jog. Several decorative scabs currently adorn my right elbow, knee, and calf. I was fully clothed this time (much to the relief of my fellow joggers) but on the way down I had two thoughts: #1 - "Oh, $%*&# this is going to hurt"; and #2 - "Why did I choose today to leave my cell phone at home?" Fortunately, it hurt like a beast but not to the point of actually needing to call for help. And in my grandest moment of manhood yet, I got back up and finished my run.

On Saturday, July 2nd, I invited our friend Antonio to go with me to Instituto Cultural Cabañas to see this really awesome exhibit that I had seen there a couple of weeks prior. I had gone the first time without my camera (I know, I know. When am I ever sans camera?), and really wanted to snag some shots for posterity. So, of course, the exhibit had closed for good two days prior.

But the worst calamity of all actually occurred before any of the others, on Sunday June 26th. That was the day that I foolishly put my laptop on the couch's armrest...as I always do. This was the first time, however, that it tumbled off and hit the floor. Screen is cracked. Can't see a thing. Which means I can't access the photos for all of the blogs that I've been meaning to write but have been getting to at a snail's pace, including but not limited to:

The last half of Mexico City
The latest entry in Guadalajara's Top 20
An unexpected yet welcome visitor

I'll be picking up a new computer in San Diego later this month. I'll also be taking my old one and asking if, pretty please with sugar on top, they can somehow transfer all of my photos and music over to the new one. If not, well...we'll just have to deal, now, won't we?

Ugh.

On the bright side, the bad luck disappeared when TJ returned. With his very own iPad. *grumble*

Mexico City, Day 4: Six Flags

2011-06-26T20:30:00.010-04:00

Back in March of 2010, I used Six Flags Over Texas as an analogy for Flag Day.

How ironic, or maybe just appropriate, that our first post ended up being one of a tiny majority to actually have a Six Flags.

TJ and I are theme/amusement park enthusiasts. When we tell people that we visit these parks during vacations abroad, they look at us like we're crazy fools who have wasted precious hours in an exotic locale. Maybe they're right. But for us, it's a day well spent. The food, the attractions, the theming, the costumes...they always give you just a little bit more insight into the country you have found yourself in.

Six Flags Mexico is no exception.

For example, the very first thing we noticed about the park was that, despite the gates opening at 10:00, there was no food or beverage to be found until after 11:00. This speaks to a culture that tends to have late breakfasts, later lunches, and horribly late dinners. Not something we've adjusted to yet, and we totally forgot to grab breakfast on the way. Even Vicente, a native Mexican, was getting a little restless for some yum yums. And if the flock...no, army...of birds that surrounded us as we finally sat down to eat are any indication, we were definitely not alone in our thinking.

The second thing to strike me was the cross-promotional material for other Six Flags parks. The only sister park to get any mention was Six Flags Fiesta Texas. This particular park is located in San Antonio, which of course is home to a large Latino/Hispanic population. According to the 2006-2008 American Community Survey, the racial composition of the city breaks down as follows:

White: 68.9% (Non-Hispanic Whites: 28.9%)
Black or African American: 6.6%
American Indian: 0.6%
Asian: 2.0%
Native Hawaiian and Other Pacific Islanders: 0.1%
Some Other Race: 19.4%
Two or More Races: 2.4%
Hispanic or Latino (of any race): 61.2%

So, clearly, Six Flags Mexico knows who they cater to.

The third thing that we noticed was that the labor-intensive attractions, such as the Batman Stunt show and the Terminator X, cost extra. Typically, price gauging of this sort is reserved for sky coasters and the like, but it seems to work here. The current General Admission price for Six Flags Over Texas is $36.99, compared to $30.98 for Six Flags Mexico. What this means is that a cheaper ticket price is offered for those that may just wish to bring their families to the park to enjoy the rides and not worry about the loud, violent, potentially scary shows (Note: We cheaped out and didn't pay extra for anything).

As for the rides, they were pretty much standard Six Flags fair. You have your mandatory Superman and/or Batman ride. There was a gravity house, which I haven't seen since I was a wee lad. There were bad magic and dance performances. There were overpriced carnival games. Overall, it was your typical amusement park experience...which accounts for the fact that we didn't take many pictures that day.

I know, I know. I should be ashamed of myself. But I'm not. I had a lot of fun, despite "almost" starving to death. And I got a nifty Daffy Duck mug and a Flash hoodie, so I'm all set for memories.

But I do want to share one last observation with you.

Mexican Robin is smokin' hot.

Mexico City, Day 3: Teotihuacan

2011-06-26T16:12:00.010-04:00

If you were to head 40 kilometers northeast of Mexico City, or what we shall now and forever refer to as the "Gee-that's-pretty-but-I-sure-wanted-to-see-Tenochtitlan" City, you would run into a magical little place called Teotihuacan.

And if you're a sucker like us, you might pay a local guide 500 pesos to show you around. You might even be as surprised as we were to discover that this was 500 pesos well spent. We learned all sorts of things that the ravages of time will cause us to forget.

Established circa 100BCE, the city is thought to have lasted until somewhere between the 7th and 8th centuries, CE. In 1987, it was indoctrinated into the registry of UNESCO World Heritage Sites. It is the third such site we have visited since arriving in Mexico (see Post Labels below)

Our tour guide informed us that the Aztecs discovered Teotihuacan (The City of the Gods) as they searched for what would ultimately become Tenochtitlan, but that they did not actually build the city. It was already there. As for who is responsible for the construction, that's a question we may never know the answer to (insert spooky music here). All that is known is that some Aztecs sojourned forth toward Mexico City...and some stayed behind.

After the tour our guide took us to a small compound at which we were taught about the practical, non-Tequila uses for Agave. Apparently, it was both an early form of paper (peel the stalks) and needle and thread (break the tip off, thread it with shredded Agave stalks).

We then received a presentation about precious stones that can be found in Mexico (and the art that is made using them), after which we were invited to shop (ah! the catch!) their art gallery. We're suckers, so of course we bought stuff. Our friend Vicente bought a stone turtle carved out of obsidian, while we bought a little totem-man, carved from the same.

We then returned to the archaeological site, where we were able to climb half-way up the Moon Pyramid (Can't go to the top anymore because an old white lady fell down and died. Tour guide said that plenty of Mexicans have fallen to their deaths, but it took an American dying before safety regulations were put in place. Sad, if true.) and all the way to the top of the Sun Pyramid (I guess no old biddies have busted a hip on this one yet).

The climb, she was a tough one. Lots and lots of teeny, tiny stairs. All close together. Tall, yet skinny. It was kind of scary, and the hand rails are mega-flimsy. At one point, to get down, TJ sat on the ground and butt-scooted all the way to the bottom. Has a bit of a problem with heights, that one. He likes to keep it a secret. I didn't even know until Fall 2009 when he flipped out in the Eiffel Tower. He really likes to keep that to himself.

Oops.

Above you will see the Moon Pyramid (left) and the Sun Pyramid (right). Our guide told us of a small metal marker that lies at the top of the Sun Pyramid. He advised us that, were one to touch the marker while holding an object crafted from onyx, one would receive special powers...which I will fully admit is our reason for buying our little souvenirs earlier in the day. Damn, he's good.

Below you will see the Temple of the Feathered Serpent, aka The Temple of Quetzalcoatl, aka the Feathered Serpent Pyramid. Standing directly in front of it is The Adosada Platform. The remains of over 200 human sacrifices have been found beneath the Temple, which was named for the beautifully rendered carvings that decorate its exterior.

Although it was both a religious and political center for the city, the eventual erection of The Adosada Platform, strategically placed to block the view of the pyramid, suggests that there was a shift in public opinion or religious ideology.

Speaking of a shift in public opinion...remember those powers I talked about earlier?

Well, after attempting human sacrifice, calling on the Power of Grayskull...

...presenting oneself, and stabbing each other in the back...we got nuthin'.

Maybe that tour wasn't worth 500 pesos after all.

Mexico City, Day 2: The Origin of Mexico

2011-06-20T18:41:00.008-04:00

There is an old Aztec legend that tells us how the Aztecs chose the site on which to build their capital city, Tenochtitlan.

Huitzilopochtli, who pulled double duty as both the sun god and the god of war, visited the Aztec chief in a dream. The leader was instructed that he must settle his clan, which referred to itself as "The People of the Sun," in the place in which they would find an eagle sitting on a prickly pear cactus eating a serpent. And so they set out to find this very thing. If you believe in legends and/or ancient dieties, then you might also believe that they were successful.

Tenochtitlan was founded in 1325.

The approximate 5.2 sq mi city served as the Aztec capital until Spanish invaders captured the city in 1521.

If there are two things I remember about Mexican history, having grown up in Texas, it's that:

The Aztecs were bad-ass; and
Texas and Mexico have a very violent shared history (Sidenote: My time in Mexico has taught me that blame for this is placed differently depending on which side of the Texas-Mexico border you lie)

But we aren't talking about Texas today. We're talking about Tenochtitlan. Home of the Aztecs, the dominating force in Mexico's pre-European civilization. I had always dreamt of visiting this city.

Maybe I should have paid more attention in history class; Tenochtitlan ain't there any more. Well, not exactly.

Following the Spanish occupation, Hernán Cortés ordered the destruction of the city. Modern day Mexico City would eventually be built on its ruins. So, technically, I guess I've been there after all.

Here's what the original city may have looked like.

...and this is all that remains of this important piece of history...

Also, as if to add insult to injury, the one place that held any remaining hope of my seeing this once great city, the Templo Mayor Museum, was closed for renovation.

Oh, well. Mexico City is a wonderful place. I'm sure I will go back one day. And by then, the museum should be open.

In the meantime, I've discovered that what I PROBABLY always meant to see was another ancient city called Teotihuacan. And see it, I did. But that's a subject for another day.