Worn Out

Did you ever have one of those days that just completely drained you?

Yeah, me too.

I'd talk about it, but I won't really know how it turned out until November 4th. Hit me up then.

Me Talk Spanish One Day (I Hope...)

Yesterday marked the beginning of my second month in Spanish class. We were given a homework assignment in which we had to prepare a short presentation about important people that we have met. We were encouraged to bring photographs. Presentations were due today.

In my class of three, one told a story about how he met President Clinton in Cambodia. The story was accompanied by a photo of the former president holding my classmate's daughter. My other classmate told the story of how she did arts and crafts projects with the indigenous peoples of Africa. Her story was accompanied by beautiful color photographs of beadwork, hand-woven purses, and blankets that she had worked on while living on the Ivory Coast.

As Guadalajara will be our first tour, I have no such stories to tell. My only recourse was to talk about Mickey Mouse and some D-List celebrities I had met as a child. Also, as my photo albums and color printer are currently packed away in storage, I wasn't able to whip up much of a presentation. What I was able to do is print a few photos from the Internet, cut them out, and re-copy them onto one sheet of paper. Except I forgot to bring scissors to the business office. So I had to tear and fold the photos. The effect was not unlike that of a 2nd Grade Art Project.

Oy, am I glad this class is for fun and not for course credit.

Just for fun, here is what I told my professor, verbatim. This will give you the opportunity to make fun of judge me on how poorly I am progressing in Spanish. I think this, too, is not unlike a 2nd Grader...

"Cuando vivia en Orlando, conoci senor Mikey Mouse durante una visita al Mundo de Disney. Mickey y yo nos reunimos en varias ocasiones porque me gusta el Mundo de Disney y visite a muchos.

"Cuando era una nino, mi padre gustaba ir a coche de la demostraciones. A veces, gentes famosa firmado autografos en la coche de la demostraciones.

"Asi es como conoci a Vanna White de "Rueda de la Fortuna," Jefe Cerdo de "Los Duques de Hazzard," y Tio Cody de "Paso a Paso."

"Estoy triste porque mi perro comio el autografo de Jefe Cerdo, y Jefe Cerdo esta muerto ahora."

European Beard and Moustache Championship

I just love the Huffington Post. Sometimes you get useful news blurbs...and sometimes you get this...

"Hirsute men from eight countries curled, primped and even blow-dried their facial hair in preparation for the European Beard And Moustache Championship, held high in the Austrian Alps this weekend, the AFP reports."

"The event drew about 150 participants to the town of Leogang, not far from Salzburg. According to MSNBC, men competed in 17 eccentric categories, including "Freestyle Beard," "Natural Moustache" and "Verdi," with the winner of the latter category bearing a style akin to the famous 19th century Italian composer Giuseppi Verdi."

Click HERE for additional photos...

Welcome to the Foreign Service Life! Here's Your Apartment!

I wasn't particularly looking forward to posting this entry, but I sorta promised it HERE, so I figured I might as well pony up. I'm hesitant to do this for two reasons: One, photos of other people's apartments are rarely exciting, and two, this really feels like something I should have done seven months ago (WOW! Has it been that long?). That said, I do feel that visual aids are important in making housing decisions, and anyone that is about to join the foreign service may benefit from this post. Plus, I haven't taken ANY photos of Oakwood for myself, so this was a great opportunity. So, without further ado...

This was pretty much our first sight upon arriving at Oakwood. I almost cried. This was definitely NOT our cute little house on the lake. Our new 7 story building looked cold. Sterile. And the fact that it was buried under a couple of feet of snow didn't help matters. TJ did not speak to me as we checked in, obtained our keys, and took our first tour of what would be our apartment for the next nine months. We did not speak for almost an hour. There wasn't much to say. We were both disappointed and afraid of starting a fight.

I say none of this to discourage potential residents. I say it only to educate you. No matter what your living conditions were prior to joining the Foreign Service, they were (hopefully) conditions of your choosing. Leaving that for something chosen for you may be a bit jarring at first.

We got over our hang-ups with time, and came to realize that Oakwood isn't half bad. There are numerous amenities to choose from. One of the most convenient for State Department employees is the availability of shuttle service to and from the Foreign Service Institute, where the majority of your training will occur.

There are also shuttles servicing the closest Metro station, though it is a brisk 10-15 minute walk if you prefer to hoof it.

Oakwood offers a nice-sized pool and jacuzzi, though I don't think I ever saw an adult in the pool that wasn't accompanied by a toddler wearing arm floaties. The pool is so packed in the summertime that a common joke was that you could walk from one end of the pool to the other without getting wet.

Something of note to my southern friends...don't expect the pool to be open year-round. Pools up here are typically open Memorial Day - Labor Day only.

Behind the pool are a decent number of BBQ pits and tables.

The oddest amenity I have ever seen is located beside the pits. I've never seen an apartment complex with its own convenience store, but there you go. Good source of wine and frozen pizza. Only accepts cash though.

In addition to the gym (which I could not take photos of because it was occupied and I didn't want to look creepy), there are four tennis courts, a basketball hoop, and a sand volleyball court. The gym is merely adequate, containing old but working equipment. We haven't made much use of these amenities, as we bought a membership to the Planet Fitness next door. Of course, we haven't made much use of that, either...

As you can see, there's a playground for the little ones. We don't have children (yet), so I've yet to find much use for this...but I think one of the puppies did try to make poo here, once.

Which reminds me, pets are not allowed in the courtyard. Management's definition of what the courtyard is changes day-to-day, but there are puppy stations located throughout the property.

There's a Business Office equipped with two computers and a copy/fax machine. Brunch is served in the club house every Sunday (donuts and OJ). There are two conference rooms available if you need to host a meeting. There's an on-site dry cleaner, though off-site will be cheaper and faster. The staff lacks a certain charm but seems to be improving over time.

I'm gonna stop there, but I do invite your participation...

Have you/do you live at this, or one of the other Oakwood communities? Please feel free to post your thoughts here. Maybe your feedback will help a future Foreign Service family make a housing decision.

Ohhh...So THIS Is What A Change In Weather Feels Like

Something...unusual happened last night. You see, it was quite warm during the day, but when the sun went down, it got...cool? In early October? That doesn't make any sense.

And not only that, but the weather was drizzly the majority of last week. Despite being warm yesterday, today was kind of chilly. And now, it's drizzling again?

I'm so confused. I've spent 7 years living in Florida. I'm not accustomed to such things. It doesn't start cooling off until December, and even then, you won't need a jacket until January. And it only rains in the summertime between 4 and 4:15pm.

I mean, sure, it was snowing when we moved here in February, but that is a distant memory...like we were on vacation somewhere else. It's hard to believe that it will be snowing again soon.

And yet, not soon enough, I'm afraid. A bit of research has shown that snowfall in early-November is unlikely. Pity. I wanted to see Bernard before we left. And I did kinda enjoy slipping and falling on my butt in the snow. I thought it was funny, and laughed every time.

By mid-November we will be living in snow-free Guadalajara and frantically searching for frozen turkeys, green bean casseroles, and canned cranberry sauce. I'm actually looking forward to it. We spent an amazing Halloween in Paris last year, so I know it's possible to enjoy American holidays abroad.

Upside? American AND Mexican holidays will be part of my social calendar.

Downside? Any acclimation to seasons other than hot and hotter will quickly fade over the next two years of Florida-like weather.

Kings Dominion: Halloween Haunt

As any Central Floridian worth his salt knows, the best time to celebrate Halloween is the first weekend in October. The theme parks have had their Halloween events running for a week at this point, thus working out any kinks in the show, and the typical Halloween crowd won't show up for another couple of weeks, meaning shorter lines.

Halloween was always fun in Florida.

With that in mind, we sojourned 85 miles south of our temporary Falls Church home to find out how Virginia celebrates the holiday. I walked through the entrance of Kings Dominion this afternoon fully expecting to walk through the exit completely disappointed a few hours later. Halloween Haunt couldn't possibly hold a candle to Halloween Horror Nights or Howl-O-Scream, Right?

Wrong. I had an amazing time.

A Halloween-themed outing to Kings Dominion couldn't begin without a stop at Boo Blasters on Boo Hill. Boo Blasters used to be called Scooby Doo and the Haunted Mansion back when the park had a contract with Hanna-Barbera. Like Disney's Haunted Mansion, the exterior is an old scary house with funny tombstones in the yard. Inside, it's a shoot-'em-up similar to Universal's Men in Black and Disney's Toy Story Mania.

Later, TJ discovered a car full of dead clowns and

I made nice with the biggest Jack in the Box ever.

My second-favorite haunt of the night, mainly because

of TJ's astute observation that the "a" looks like a "u."

I'll let you sound it out for yourselves...

I wish this particular photo had turned out better, but the camera was on a weird setting at the time. I am including it anyway, because it reminds me of a recurring dream I used to have as a child. I would be riding in the backseat of the Mystery Machine. The Scooby Gang and I were fleeing from a pumpkin-headed creature that bore a striking resemblance to this fellow. The back door of the van would unexpectedly open and I would tumble out, finding myself at the mercy of the pumpkin man. I would always wake up just as he grabbed me.

The most terrifying haunted house that I have ever experienced didn't even take the form of a house. The typically kid-centric fair offered by the Blue Ridge Tollway, which allows for a leisurely drive through a forest in antique gas-powered cars, becomes the Blue Ridge Bloodbath at night..a leisurely drive through a forest inhabited by chainsaw and shovel-wielding maniacs that jump out and smack the roof, hood, and trunk of your car as you try not to pee your pants and drive off the track.

Fortunately, we had noticed that a licensed professional

that could help with post traumatic stress had set up

a booth earlier in the day.

Homeward Bound: The Incredibly Ridiculous Journey

Today is October 1st. For most of you, that means 30 more days until Halloween, 55 days until Thanksgiving, etc, etc.

For us, October 1st means that we have exactly one month until pack-out. It means that we will be leaving Falls Church in 34 days. It means that we are expected to arrive in Guadalajara in 38 days and that TJ starts working in 39 days.

And we still don't have any earthly idea where we will be living...which means we don't know if we will be able to bring all, or any, of our pets with us. The Department of State offers a couple of different housing options for it's diplomats and their families to choose from, but final say on the matter does go to the housing board. We are at their mercy. Without a response from them, we do not know if we should find long-term pet sitters or make arrangements for international travel. Given the fact that we have to fly the pets into the country, it's not like we can decide to hide them as we have often done in the past.

Oh, and to top it all off, we recently found out that we may not be able to take my Jeep Compass with us. The first sign of trouble was the disclaimer stating that we must provide a marriage license to show cause for transporting any vehicle not in the employee's name. Great. If someone can hurry up and legalize same-sex marriage at the federal level, we'll get right on that. We decided to feign ignorance on the matter and hope that someone possessing either actual ignorance or a kind heart would let the paperwork pass through.

That's when we discovered problem number two: anyone wishing to ship a vehicle overseas must present a title of ownership. Unexpected, but it made sense. Trouble is, we think the title is in our Household Effects shipment that has been out of reach since February. No big deal. Titles are easily replaced.

This brings us to the mother of all problems: Any vehicle not paid in full requires a letter from the lien-holder granting permission to export the vehicle. And so it was with very little hope that I contacted Wells Fargo this afternoon to request just such a letter. The first young lady I spoke to was very friendly and advised me to contact a special 1-800 number that handles military and miscellaneous government exports. And so it came to pass that I spoke with Christina, my "Account Manager," who in no uncertain terms advised me that I cannot export the vehicle. I politely informed Christina that we would be leaving the country for the express purpose of performing a diplomatic mission for the US Government, and that I had been given her phone number with the understanding that she handles such matters. Her response? "Well, are you the diplomat, or is it your partner?" I decided that this was a good time to remind Christina that I am not allowed to marry my partner of 7 years, and asked if she would be so kind as to not further discriminate based on an archaic law.

I was placed on hold for 15 minutes.

When the elevator music stopped, I found myself speaking to Cesar, Christina's supervisor. Cesar informed me that my request had been escalated to the legal department and that I would have a response withing 48-72 business hours. Wednesday. By our calculations, we only have until Friday to get the paperwork turned in to guarantee that the car can be shipped at all. I don't know what bothers me more: the small margin for error this has given us, or the sneaking feeling that Cesar's Spanish accent was supposed to evoke some sense of understanding in my Mexico-bound heart.

Fortunately, I was able to obtain my Medical Clearance, Travel Orders, and Diplomatic Passport without difficulty. My visa is pending review but looks to be processing without incident. Prior to the Obama administration, same-sex partners were granted fewer rights than household pets. Given the difficulty we are having with animals and inanimate objects, I cannot begin to fathom how many hoops we would have had to jump through in order for me to accompany TJ to post just two years ago. I guess there are some things we can be thankful for.

As for our existing problems, I think we can kill two birds with one stone. We aren't allowed to drive across the border, but nobody said anything about them...

In the dead of night, dos perros bravos

attempt to cross the Mexican border

in un coche prohibida