I've tried to be a supportive partner during TJ's transition from grad student to Foreign Service Officer. I left my comfortable, routine life in Orlando. I made the transition from homeowner back to renter. I attended the new hire meet n' greet. I took a day off from work to attend the spouse/partner orientation. When we received the bid list containing over 100 possible job postings, one of which we will be assigned to for the next two years of our lives, I spent the weekend reviewing the list with TJ, evaluating the pros and cons. We even came to an easy agreement on some surprising locations that we would be excited to live in.
The only thing I did not do was take another day off of work last Thursday to attend a one hour interview that allowed TJ and me some face time with the people that will ultimately make the decision as to where we will be sent. It was no big deal, I thought. We had done our homework. I had work to do. Most places on the list were favorable. He could handle it.
TJ had some work to do yesterday for a team building event his job will be sponsoring this week. We had some errands to run beforehand, and a fast lunch was in order. TJ was nice enough to throw a can of SpaghettiO's in the microwave for me as I got dressed. When they were done, I looked at them and said "SpaghettiO's are supposed to have cheese on them." To him this was a ridiculous notion, but to me it was as normal as could be. No big deal. SpaghettiO's are yummy, cheese or no cheese.
The trouble is, by removing myself from the process, I lost out on cheesey goodness. And I may have inadvertently diminished my say in where the next two years of my life are spent.
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