St. Maarten

The last time we took a cruise, we made the mistake of not booking any shore excursions. We simply assumed that we would be able to arrive at port, hop off the boat, and find something to do. No way were we going to let somebody sucker us out of OUR money, no-siree!

Yeah, that was dumb.

We disembarked in both Freeport and Nassau, took one look around, and hopped back on the boat.

We weren't going to make that same mistake twice. Yet we weren't quite willing to pay Carnival's inflated booking fees, either.

We instead opted to disembark, fight the urge to get back on the boat, and find a local tour stand from which to book an excursion. And we did just that.

Thus began an exciting five hour tour of St. Maarten. The island has been split almost equally between the French (who call it Saint-Martin) and the Dutch (who call it Sint Maarten) since the 1600s. Although the French control a larger percentage of land mass, the Dutch currently beat them in population. Stop # 0 (I call it 0 because it lasted for 5 minutes and therefore doesn't count) of our trip treated us to this nice hillside view of the island.

Our first real stop was at Orient Beach. Now, now, I know what you're probably thinking. But we did NOT know this tour was heading into nude beach territory when we booked the excursion. I've never been all that comfortable with my body, and generally find it a chore to drag myself to a clothing-required beach. That said, it's vacation, so why not.

Ha! Vacation, nothing! I don't get naked in public for anybody. But I won't say that I didn't do a little window shopping. For the children out there, and for the sake of our careers, I'll simply share this photo, shot facing the non-nekkid part of the beach.

The beach was lovely. The nudesters, not so much. But hey, let 'em enjoy their holiday, right? As we were heading back to the shuttle, I stopped to admire this one guy's zoom lens. No, really. He was carefully putting his very expensive looking camera away, and he had a bag containing two, maybe three, high powered zoom lenses. What did YOU think I meant? Anyway, as he set the camera down to talk to his wife, I turned my attention to TJ and Antonio, who were engaged in conversation with some of our shipmates that had just arrived at the beach. We were soon back in the shuttle heading for our second destination, all thoughts of zoom envy behind me.

The second destination on our whirlwind tour was a brief stop at a shopping plaza in Marigot, the island's French capitol. The beautiful Fort St. Luis overlooks Marigot Bay and the shopping district. This is the type of security we need in the US on Black Friday, people!

The fort was built in 1767 to protect the French residents of Marigot from invasion. It was later temporarily occupied by the Dutch, but now just serves as a nice place to catch a panoramic view of the island. We didn't have time to make the climb, so I will simply remember this portion of the tour as being the only source of air conditioning during the entire excursion. Sure the shuttle van had A/C. But you know how it feels when someone blows on you on a really hot day? Yeah, it felt like that.

Street Markets and French-Inspired architecture aplenty.

The tour wrapped up with a delicious lunch at local burger joint/tourist trap Sunset Bar & Grill, located on the Dutch side of the island. This place isn't just famous for it's delicious burgers and margaritas, of which their were plenty. No, this place is best known for it's location. Not only is it situated on a white sandy beach with a nice cityscape backdrop, it also happens to sit at the end of the runway at Princess Juliana International Airport. Right. At. The. End.

What this means is that diners are able to watch jumbo jets take off and land while they eat. Doesn't sound very exciting, does it? Yeah, we didn't think so either. Turned out to be the highlight of the day. Just take a look at these photos to see how close you actually are to these babies. It's completely exhilarating to be this close to an airplane in motion.

Close, huh? Oh, not close enough?

How about now? Note the sign, please.

After lunch our guide asked if we wanted to see any more of the island, but we all muttered an exhausted "Mmm?noooo...whaaa?" and he took us back to port so we could all shuffle off to our cabins for a much deserved afternoon nap.

But not before someone in the shuttle exclaimed, in a horrified my-trip-is-ruined kind of way, "Has anyone seen my camera bag?!?"

Whoops.

All in all, a great day (well, maybe not for that one guy). But would I ever go back?

Well, if you insist.

You betcha!

Ships Ahoy!

November 2nd found us in Ft. Lauderdale setting sail on the Carnival Miracle for an eight day Eastern Caribbean-bound adventure to the beautiful islands of St. Maarten, St. Lucia, and St. Kitts.

This was only our second cruise, both in our 8+ years together, and our lives in general. We could but hope it would turn out better than our last cruise aboard the Carnival Sensation in October 2008. That four day cruise to the Bahamas saw us visiting the islands of Freeport and Nassau with another couple...a couple that we weren't exactly friends with anymore, but had been very close to at the time of the booking. Eep! (Note: They've since broken up, and one of them is actually quite nice. The other...meh.)

Hi, Florida! Bye, Florida!

You'd think we'd learn a lesson from that. But you'd be wrong. Accompanying us on this voyage was our good friend Antonio, making his first-ever journey outside of Mexico. I'm happy to report that we were all still friends when the boat left, and by the time it returned. Whew! Disaster averted.

I'll post about our various island adventures separately, but for now we'll just talk about life on the boat. And, as any cruiser can attest, life on the boat is best measured by what you've been drinking. Carnival certainly knows this. There's a special drink served each day.

We set sail from Ft. Lauderdale at 4pm on Funship Special (November 2nd). Yellow Bird and Riviera Delight (November 3rd and 4th) were Fun Days at Sea. We spent this time investigating every nook and cranny of the boat.

The Mad Hatter's Ball plays host to

much of the ship's entertainment.

That first night presented us with a wonderful song and dance show that introduced us to our entertainment crew and ship mascot Funship Freddy.

Due to international copyright laws, this is the only show that allowed flash photography. So don't expect more than this, folks!

Well...okay. This isn't a picture from a show, but here's a fancy mullet we had a spectacular view of one evening while awaiting curtain call.

Despite the party in the back, I can assure you

that she was all business in the front.

On the third night, TJ was jonesing for some karaoke. Regular karaoke was delayed, pending the conclusion of a karaoke contest. TJ didn't want to wait and didn't think he'd win, so he entered the contest, singing Livin' La Vida Loca. More on that later.

We arrived in St. Maarten early on the morning of Blue Margarita (November 5th). After a day exploring the island we played a round of put-put golf and I won a medal for eating a cookie off of my forehead without using my hands. Obese people of the world, rejoice!

Chillin' on the stoop

The ball was a hole-in-one. The cookie took two tries.

We had a very interesting day in St Lucia on Goombay Smash (November 6th) in which Antonio learned a very polite, religiously condescending way to tell someone to go f--- themselves. But more on that at another time.

The best day of all was Caribbean Breeze (November 7th) in St Kitts. We booked an AMAZING excursion for this day that I'll talk about...three blogs from now (This is about the boat, people! Focus!). We spent some time that evening hanging out with new friends Susanne and Teresa. These are two amazing women that TJ and I met on Yellow Bird during dinner. Okay, met is a little strong. They tried to talk to us but we were fairly oblivious. Fortunately they were having none of that and accosted us at the bar later. We ended up talking and dancing with them most every night thereafter. We met these California gals as they were enjoying their sixth annual cruise together, a tradition they started when Teresa moved to North Dakota for her husband's work. Oh, and that crazy guy is Malcom, our Cruise Director. Funny at every turn, we were quite pleased to snag a photo with him in his most outrageous outfit.

Two more Fun Days at Sea were had on Ultimate Suntan and Bahama Mama (November 8th and 9th).

We were pretty worn out by this point, so we took it easy. Light entertainment consisted of a demonstration on how to create the famous Carnival towel animals (which is really just a way of hawking their book...buy yours now!), and a scavenger hunt in which we had to do many ridiculous things in front of large crowds.

...things were clearly taking a turn for the worse, because I have no recollection

as to why I am carrying around an empty can of Boddington's here...

On the final night of the cruise there was a show called "Carnival Legends." This is a show that mixes the ship's talented cast of singers and dancers in with a few of the vacationers that competed in karaoke contests (most likely under the influence of a Drink of the Day) throughout the course of the vacation. That's right folks. Here's where we get to TJ's gross miscalculation on Riviera Delight. I present to you...RICKY MARTIN!

Livin' La Vida Loca...again

We finally made our way back to Ft. Lauderdale on November 10th. Yes, November 10th. There are no drink specials for disembarkment. I guess they don't want to be held responsible for drinking and driving. Or maybe it's because disembarkment is at 8am and no self respecting tourist would be caught drinking before 9. Either way, it was...simply...November 10th. The end of our vacation.

Except for the three fun days in Orlando that followed, of course. But more on that later.

We've still got islands to talk about!

Welcome to the Pan American Games

On our anniversary waaaay back in July I surprised TJ with tickets to the 2011 Pan American Games Opening Ceremonies hosted here in Guadalajara. We finally got to use those tickets on Friday night. Totally worth the wait.

If you're not familiar with the Pan American Games, let's just say that, for the Americas, they're the next best thing to the Olympics. There's a torch relay and everything. And you can't have a torch relay without there being a final destination for the torch in question. And that, of course, means there must be an opening ceremony. For the Guadalajara games, the ceremony was produced by FiveCurrents, the California-based company responsible for the 2002 Winer Olympics Opening Cermony in Salt Lake City, Utah.

Not knowing what to expect in terms of traffic, we decided to head to Estadio Omnilife much earlier than one would normally intend. We had learned earlier in the day that there would be very little parking at the venue, so we opted for the Park-n-Ride option provided by a nearby mall. We arrived shortly after 5pm and quickly found ourselves lost in a sea of people. The organizers knew to expect crowds to arrive early and did a fantastic job providing entertainment (and beer!) to keep everyone occupied before the main event. There was an air show, food (and beer!) vendors, marketing ploys disguised as carnival games, and of course lots of Pan Am merchandise.

At 6:00 we headed into the stadium, grabbed some food (and beer!), and took our seats. We were pleased to find a gift bag waiting for us. Inside was a package of inflatable Aplaudidores (clappers), to be used during the Parade of Nations, and a flashlight. The game mascots headed out and did a little dancing to energize the early arrivals, and by 7:00 we were in rehearsal for the audience participation section of the show. Hence, the flashlights.

The Mascots

• Gavo, the blue agave plant, represents the tequila production that has made this area of Mexico famous. He's my favorite. Probably because he looks so darned goofy. He just screams "I need extra love."
• Huichi, the pink deer, represents the southern region of the state and pays tribute to its Huichol traditions and the female identity. She's my least favorite. Wears too much makeup. I call her Hoochie. And if you think I'm being harsh, please note that she is, in fact, working the pole in that photo.
• Leo the lion (generic name, eh?) represents the strength of the people of Guadalajara. Lion imagery is also incorporated into the city's coat of arms. Leo's okay in my book but will always play second fiddle to ol' Gavo.

Huichi's giving Nomi Malone a run for her money.

The ceremonies began at 8:00 with the legendary Vicente Fernandez singing the Mexican National Anthem. Accompanying him was a mariachi band and an impressive demonstration of the Ballet Folklórico.

USA! USA!

The Parade of Nations followed, beginning with Argentina and presenting the 42 attending delegations in alphabetical order according to the Spanish alphabet. Mexico was of course the exception to the rule. Being the host country, the Mexican delegation entered last and was greeted by a standing ovation and thunderous applause. Just minutes earlier, TJ had been chastised by an

usher for standing up and cheering for the US delegation. In our section it was apparently only okay to stand and root for the home team. And in case you're wondering, yes, when Mexico entered, we stood and cheered with the best of 'em.

Maná burst into song following the parade, and for a brief moment the organizers lost control of the event as half of the Mexican delegation abandoned their seats in an effort to rush the stage. All was calm by the end of the segment and the show continued as scheduled.

Then came the aerialists, followed by a video montage of the torch relay. Mexican President Felipe Calderón said a few words prior to the raising of the Pan American flag, and before we knew it, it was our turn to perform. Following the cues of our section leaders, we put on a light spectacle unlike any I've seen before. Really, it's best to let the pictures and video do the talking.

Columbian singer and hottie Juanes (bottom, right...No, really. He's there. I promise.) took the stage as the light spectacle took on a life of its own, continuing beyond the choreographed segment.

As the festivities came to a close, the torch arrived, igniting a series of pyrotechnics above the open-air stadium.

Who thought that one tiny torch...

...could cause all of that?

Alejandro Fernandez, son of Vicente, closed the ceremony with El Mismo Sol, the official song of the 2011 Pan American Games. The fireworks grand finale lit up the sky as images of Pan Am athletes were transposed upon the ceiling.

Alejandro, Alejandro...

All in all, this has to be the most incredible thing I have ever seen in person. As for TJ, his Facebook status Saturday morning said the following:

"Night of the Panamerican Games Opening Ceremony...

The best night of my life. It was a childhood dream come true."

Yeah, I rock.

TJ and I have both been fans of the Olympics for as long as we can remember. TJ loves telling stories of how he would fake illness during his younger years so that he could stay home from school to watch the winter games. He even managed to attend an event or two for both the 1996 Summer and 2002 Winter Olympic Games

And me? My parents, long ago in what honestly feels like another lifetime, once promised to send me to Australia for the 2000 Summer Olympics in Sydney. I am sorry to say that it never happened.

But all is forgiven. My parents, famous for promising trips to Walt Disney World that never happened, thus inspiring my eventual move to Orlando, where I met TJ, who wanted to start a life in the Foreign Service, resulting in my move to Mexico, where I am at the very heart of the Pan American Games...well, I guess they got me to the games after all.

Guachimontones

Heavy rains may have prevented us from taking in the sights of the local ruins during Patrick's visit, but on September 24th TJ and I, accompanied by good pals Pablo and Gus, kicked Mother Nature's booty from Guadalajara all the way to Guachimontones and back. Or maybe she just took pity on us and gave us a sunny day. She owed us. This was our third or fourth attempt, after all (Note to would-be travelers: Guadalajara's rainy season runs May - October).

As has been the case with many other wonderful places that we have had the pleasure of visiting here in Mexico, Guachimontones has been inscribed onto the list of UNESCO World Heritage Sites (July 12, 2006). Unfortuantely, heavy looting also placed it on the 2008 World Monuments Watch list of 100 Most Endangered Sites. I'm not sure what else is being looted, but I did read that stone is being taken from the site to build houses in nearby Teuchitlán.

So what is Guachimontones?

Good question. Nobody's 100% sure.

What is known is that this archaeological site, located about an hour west of Guadalajara, was home to the Teuchitlan society from approximately 300BCE to 900CE. The pyramids here are of a circular nature and are located within circular building complexes. It is believed that Volador ceremonies (rain dances that involve four people launching themselves from the top of a 30 meter pole while a fifth dances and plays the flute or a drum on top of the pole) were conducted here. It's origin can be assigned to the Aztecs, but that's really just a guess at this time.

At the current time, it's definitely not as impressive as Teotihuacan, but we can cut it some slack for being a newbie to the ruins game. The site was only found in 1970, with real research not beginning until1996. The site as it is currently excavated appears to consist of two pyramids and several platforms.

It's small, modest, and beautiful. All told, we probably spent only an hour or two exploring the ruins, asking Gus not to stand on the pyramids (or at least to not do so in such close proximity to the signs asking him not to), and hiking up a giant hill that we all swear is another pyramid waiting to be discovered...and yet it was an hour or two well spent.

If you ever get the opportunity, I'd recommend a visit. And please, do so before it's been ripped apart and used to build somebody's summer home.

Patrick Mans Up

Our friend Patrick visited over the Independence Day weekend. No, not the 4th of July. I may be behind on blogging but I'm not that behind. I instead refer to Mexican Independence Day, which is celebrated on September 16th.

Anyway, Patrick (You remember Patrick, right? We visited him in Houston last November.) was one tough cookie to get down here. He was a frequent visitor when we lived in Florida and even managed to pop up to DC twice during our nine month stay in Falls Church, VA. Yet almost a year into Mexico and we hadn't seen hide nor hair of him. I think he was scared. Hah. I know he was scared. He even went so far as to book and cancel a flight within an impressive 24 hour period. Yeah, buddy, I called you out like that. Much love.

I was able to con him into rebooking the flight by batting my eyes and saying "Please? I really miss you." Well, ok, so i think I might have said he was a bad friend and hella-lame. I don't remember. Either way, it did the trick. So how did Patrick fare in Mexico? Let's find out!

Arriving at the airport on Wednesday afternoon, Patrick was quickly whisked away for a fat slab of cow at one of our favorite steakeries, Un Romano y Dos Ladrones. We ordered a bottle of wine, three ginormous steaks, and a cold octopus appetizer. Other than the appetizer, a good time was had by all. Score: Guadalajara-is-Fun: 1, Mexico-is-Awful: 0

For Thursday, the plan had been to pawn Patrick off on a bus tour and have that entertain him until lunchtime, at which point I would send him home to wait on me until work ended. At the last minute I decided to take the day off, and boy was that a good idea. Thanks to the aforementioned Independence Day, streets all over the city center were closed, including the ones leading to and from the bus tour, which I think was itself closed for the day. We opted for a walking tour of El Centro, where we were able to tour Catedral de la Asunción de María Santísima and Mercado San Juan de Dios (two very impressive features of the city that will eventually make their way into this blog. We then stopped by Instituto Cultural Cabañas, where I was disappointed to find a boring church photo exhibit had replaced the Frida Kahlo and Diego Rivera exhibit of the previous month. Fail. I was able to save the morning by enticing Patrick with the delicious comida tipica at La Chata. He was also able to help Father Hidalgo rile up the locals and start a new war for independence, which was very exciting for him.

An evening of good drinks and better friends at co-worker Pablo's swinging new pad sealed the deal on a great day in the city. Score: Guadalajara-is-Fun: 2, Mexico-is-Awful: 0.

Friday was supposed to be a trip to Guachimontones, but that got rained out. Fortunately, it turned out, as Patrick deadpanned "If we miss it, I'll still sleep tonight." We settled for introducing Patrick to the joys of chilaquiles and then making a day of it at Zoológico Guadalajara, which I suppose was a better option, as Patrick had been saying for two days that he really wanted to go there and I had been halfway ignoring him. The zoo was fun, as usual, but the line for the safari was ridonkulous and we had to forego the giraffe feeding. But Patrick was very amused by our Lindsay Lohan sighting:

Hey...you were in "Mean Girls," right?

A fun addition to the zoo is a Diego Rivera-inspired mural at the entrance that features depictions of many important-to-Mexico items, including Los Gigantes. Score: Guadalajara-is-Fun: 3, Mexico-is-Awful: 0.

Saturday...now, Saturday was the true star of this vacation. For that is the day that we boarded the Tequila Express. What this means is that we hopped on a train bound for the Herradura distillery and started drinking tequila-based drinks at 10am, took a tour of said distillery, had a lunch buffet and more tequila, listened to some mariachi, watched some Ballet Folklórico, took in some Suertes Charras (National sport involving lasso tricks), and hopped back on the Guadalajara bound train for some more tequila. Yep, you guessed it: Guadalajara-is-Fun: 4, Mexico-is-Awful: 0.

Sunday brought a whirlwind tour of the artisan markets of Tonalá before a sad return to the airport. Patrick was observed as grumpily stating "I've seen all of this stuff before," only to find two things he couldn't live without moments later, bringing our final score to: Guadalajara-is-Fun: 5, Mexico-is-Awful: 0.

Since his trip, Patrick has maintained contact with some of our new friends here in Guadalajara via Facebook, has attempted and failed to find chilaquiles worthy of the name in Houston, and has vaguely talked about a return visit to Mexico.

So there you have it, folks. Mexico ain't half bad. We've now had two successful visits and nobody has left traumatized. If you've thought about visiting, please do. We have about a year left before a new adventure begins in parts unknown.

And as for Gwen and Patrick, the only souls brave enough to make the journey thus far?

Y'all come back now, y'hear?