Homeward Bound: The Incredibly Ridiculous Journey

Today is October 1st. For most of you, that means 30 more days until Halloween, 55 days until Thanksgiving, etc, etc.

For us, October 1st means that we have exactly one month until pack-out. It means that we will be leaving Falls Church in 34 days. It means that we are expected to arrive in Guadalajara in 38 days and that TJ starts working in 39 days.

And we still don't have any earthly idea where we will be living...which means we don't know if we will be able to bring all, or any, of our pets with us. The Department of State offers a couple of different housing options for it's diplomats and their families to choose from, but final say on the matter does go to the housing board. We are at their mercy. Without a response from them, we do not know if we should find long-term pet sitters or make arrangements for international travel. Given the fact that we have to fly the pets into the country, it's not like we can decide to hide them as we have often done in the past.

Oh, and to top it all off, we recently found out that we may not be able to take my Jeep Compass with us. The first sign of trouble was the disclaimer stating that we must provide a marriage license to show cause for transporting any vehicle not in the employee's name. Great. If someone can hurry up and legalize same-sex marriage at the federal level, we'll get right on that. We decided to feign ignorance on the matter and hope that someone possessing either actual ignorance or a kind heart would let the paperwork pass through.

That's when we discovered problem number two: anyone wishing to ship a vehicle overseas must present a title of ownership. Unexpected, but it made sense. Trouble is, we think the title is in our Household Effects shipment that has been out of reach since February. No big deal. Titles are easily replaced.

This brings us to the mother of all problems: Any vehicle not paid in full requires a letter from the lien-holder granting permission to export the vehicle. And so it was with very little hope that I contacted Wells Fargo this afternoon to request just such a letter. The first young lady I spoke to was very friendly and advised me to contact a special 1-800 number that handles military and miscellaneous government exports. And so it came to pass that I spoke with Christina, my "Account Manager," who in no uncertain terms advised me that I cannot export the vehicle. I politely informed Christina that we would be leaving the country for the express purpose of performing a diplomatic mission for the US Government, and that I had been given her phone number with the understanding that she handles such matters. Her response? "Well, are you the diplomat, or is it your partner?" I decided that this was a good time to remind Christina that I am not allowed to marry my partner of 7 years, and asked if she would be so kind as to not further discriminate based on an archaic law.

I was placed on hold for 15 minutes.

When the elevator music stopped, I found myself speaking to Cesar, Christina's supervisor. Cesar informed me that my request had been escalated to the legal department and that I would have a response withing 48-72 business hours. Wednesday. By our calculations, we only have until Friday to get the paperwork turned in to guarantee that the car can be shipped at all. I don't know what bothers me more: the small margin for error this has given us, or the sneaking feeling that Cesar's Spanish accent was supposed to evoke some sense of understanding in my Mexico-bound heart.

Fortunately, I was able to obtain my Medical Clearance, Travel Orders, and Diplomatic Passport without difficulty. My visa is pending review but looks to be processing without incident. Prior to the Obama administration, same-sex partners were granted fewer rights than household pets. Given the difficulty we are having with animals and inanimate objects, I cannot begin to fathom how many hoops we would have had to jump through in order for me to accompany TJ to post just two years ago. I guess there are some things we can be thankful for.

As for our existing problems, I think we can kill two birds with one stone. We aren't allowed to drive across the border, but nobody said anything about them...

In the dead of night, dos perros bravos

attempt to cross the Mexican border

in un coche prohibida

365 Challenge, Day 75: What the Hell is Wrong With You People?

No fewer than four teenagers have committed suicide in the past month as a result of anti-gay bullying.

18-year-old Tyler Clementi (New Brunswick, NJ) ended his own life by jumping off of the George Washington Bridge after his Rutgers University roommate Dharun Ravi and accomplice Molly Wei posted images of Clementi being intimate with another male on the internet. Twice. Clementi was a gifted violinist.

15-year-old Billy Lucas (Greensburg, IN) was bullied and tormented constantly during his time at Greensburg High School. Billy ended his life after being suspended for cursing at his tormentors. Billy loved animals. He spent his last remaining hours on earth with his horses. He ended his suffering via hanging. He used one of his horse's leads.

13-year-old Asher Brown (Houston, TX) ended his life by self-inflicted gunshot wound after officials at Hamilton Middle school ignored family pleas to end two year's worth of bullying. Unlike many states, Texas has no law that prohibits bullying and harassment based on sexual orientation.

13-year-old Seth Walsh (Tehachapi, CA) attempted suicide via hanging. He died after nine days of life support. Despite claims of having an anti-bullying program in place, staff members at Jacobsen Middle School have been accused of offering no protection or guidance by Walsh's schoolmates.

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. It breaks my heart to know that these four young men thought that life couldn't get any better for them.

I was bullied in high school. Not to the point that I thought I had no options, but definitely to the extent that I was emotionally hurt. Embarrassed. Ashamed. Fortunately, I was able to look beyond all of that and envision a day that I would be free of the restraints of high school.

That day comes sooner than you think. You just have to hang in there.

But what I want to know, is what the HELL is wrong with the parents of today's teenagers? Where are these kids learning these behaviors from? At 13, 15, and 18, their parents can't be THAT much older than I am. I have apparently been living under the misconception that my generation was going to be the one that changed EVERYTHING. But these kids aren't learning these behaviors on their own. Somebody's teaching this hatred.

Meanwhile, other parents aren't telling their children that they love them no matter what. That there is no problem that a family can't overcome together. That they are proud of them. That it's okay to be different.

Tyler Clementi's death angers me the most. At 18, he was on the cusp of greatness. He was at a point in his life that he could have escaped the hatred, ignorance, and bigotry that surrounded him. He could have sought help from campus counselors. He could have transferred to another school. But he chose suicide.

But it's Asher Brown that terrifies me. Asher grew up in Texas, just like me. I was seldom bullied, often teased, but never tormented. Are things getting worse? Of course they are. four suicides in the span of 30 days tells me that. The question is...why?

Here is my personal plea to all of you out there that are raising children:

You don't have to approve of homosexuality, but please teach your children to be tolerant of others. And please tell them that you love them, no matter what. Because they could be gay, too.

365 Challenge, Day 74: Gliese 581g

Have you heard about the Goldilocks planet? Not too hot, not too cold. Not too far from, or close to, its sun. Astronomers may have found a planet that contains life.

In a day and age where Pluto is no longer a planet, and half of the cast of "The Land Before Time" has been exposed as frauds, it's comforting to know that the thrill of discovery is alive and well.

365 Challenge, Day 73: Chains, Chains, Shackles and Chains

I checked the balance in my bank account this morning, and the missing $1,098 let me know that after 3 years, 7 months, and $13,385, I had finally taken control of my life and absolved myself of any and all credit card debt.

I would like to thank the Foreign Service for its part in this heroic endeavor. Without the luxuries provided by a lack of utility bills, this process would have taken another 17 months. Beaucoup love to TJ for saying "You take care of that. I'll buy the Pop-Tarts."

I think a song is in order.

365 Challenge, Day 72: The Sweetest Thing

DISCLAIMER: If you currently or previously lived in Oakwood during my residency here, fear not, for this is the one and only time I have followed anyone out into the parking lot to take their picture.

Anyway, this sweet old couple lives next door to us. Every so often we will see the wife walking down the hall, and say hello. She always looks down and shuffles away as quickly as possible. I wonder if she's afraid of us, or the world in general? Maybe she's afraid of the paparazzi.

Less often, but on occasions such as this one, I will see her walking with her husband, hand-in-hand. I think it's beautiful. I shared an elevator with them this afternoon. They talked about the chicken and rice they were having for dinner, then seemed to struggle for topics of conversation, like any good couple that has been together for far too long but will be ripped apart by nature long before they are ready.

Out in the parking lot, he opened the car door for her before slowly walking to the driver's side. At that point, my stalking ended, as I had errands to run.

As for our dinner, well, our fish and rice wasn't too far off from our neighbor's menu. We struggled for things to talk about, too.

365 Challenge, Day 71: Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow

We finished Veronica Mars today. Despite promises to the contrary from our friend Joey, the show DID end on a cliffhanger. Stupid Joey.

Veronica Mars joins Pushing Daisies, Dead Like Me, and Dirty, Sexy, Money as great television shows from recent memory that were cancelled far too soon and denied the right to properly wrap up their plot lines. There should be a law against such travesties.

Coincidentally, VM star Kristen Bell said this very day that she has hopes to reprise her role in the near future.

Here's hoping.

365 Challenge, Day 70: Star and Shamrock

What do you get when you combine a New York-style Jewish deli with a good ol' fashioned Irish pub?

Star and Shamrock, which

opened its doors on April 16, 2010.