Welcome to the Pan American Games

On our anniversary waaaay back in July I surprised TJ with tickets to the 2011 Pan American Games Opening Ceremonies hosted here in Guadalajara. We finally got to use those tickets on Friday night. Totally worth the wait.

If you're not familiar with the Pan American Games, let's just say that, for the Americas, they're the next best thing to the Olympics. There's a torch relay and everything. And you can't have a torch relay without there being a final destination for the torch in question. And that, of course, means there must be an opening ceremony. For the Guadalajara games, the ceremony was produced by FiveCurrents, the California-based company responsible for the 2002 Winer Olympics Opening Cermony in Salt Lake City, Utah.

Not knowing what to expect in terms of traffic, we decided to head to Estadio Omnilife much earlier than one would normally intend. We had learned earlier in the day that there would be very little parking at the venue, so we opted for the Park-n-Ride option provided by a nearby mall. We arrived shortly after 5pm and quickly found ourselves lost in a sea of people. The organizers knew to expect crowds to arrive early and did a fantastic job providing entertainment (and beer!) to keep everyone occupied before the main event. There was an air show, food (and beer!) vendors, marketing ploys disguised as carnival games, and of course lots of Pan Am merchandise.

At 6:00 we headed into the stadium, grabbed some food (and beer!), and took our seats. We were pleased to find a gift bag waiting for us. Inside was a package of inflatable Aplaudidores (clappers), to be used during the Parade of Nations, and a flashlight. The game mascots headed out and did a little dancing to energize the early arrivals, and by 7:00 we were in rehearsal for the audience participation section of the show. Hence, the flashlights.

The Mascots

• Gavo, the blue agave plant, represents the tequila production that has made this area of Mexico famous. He's my favorite. Probably because he looks so darned goofy. He just screams "I need extra love."
• Huichi, the pink deer, represents the southern region of the state and pays tribute to its Huichol traditions and the female identity. She's my least favorite. Wears too much makeup. I call her Hoochie. And if you think I'm being harsh, please note that she is, in fact, working the pole in that photo.
• Leo the lion (generic name, eh?) represents the strength of the people of Guadalajara. Lion imagery is also incorporated into the city's coat of arms. Leo's okay in my book but will always play second fiddle to ol' Gavo.

Huichi's giving Nomi Malone a run for her money.

The ceremonies began at 8:00 with the legendary Vicente Fernandez singing the Mexican National Anthem. Accompanying him was a mariachi band and an impressive demonstration of the Ballet Folklórico.

USA! USA!

The Parade of Nations followed, beginning with Argentina and presenting the 42 attending delegations in alphabetical order according to the Spanish alphabet. Mexico was of course the exception to the rule. Being the host country, the Mexican delegation entered last and was greeted by a standing ovation and thunderous applause. Just minutes earlier, TJ had been chastised by an

usher for standing up and cheering for the US delegation. In our section it was apparently only okay to stand and root for the home team. And in case you're wondering, yes, when Mexico entered, we stood and cheered with the best of 'em.

Maná burst into song following the parade, and for a brief moment the organizers lost control of the event as half of the Mexican delegation abandoned their seats in an effort to rush the stage. All was calm by the end of the segment and the show continued as scheduled.

Then came the aerialists, followed by a video montage of the torch relay. Mexican President Felipe Calderón said a few words prior to the raising of the Pan American flag, and before we knew it, it was our turn to perform. Following the cues of our section leaders, we put on a light spectacle unlike any I've seen before. Really, it's best to let the pictures and video do the talking.

Columbian singer and hottie Juanes (bottom, right...No, really. He's there. I promise.) took the stage as the light spectacle took on a life of its own, continuing beyond the choreographed segment.

As the festivities came to a close, the torch arrived, igniting a series of pyrotechnics above the open-air stadium.

Who thought that one tiny torch...

...could cause all of that?

Alejandro Fernandez, son of Vicente, closed the ceremony with El Mismo Sol, the official song of the 2011 Pan American Games. The fireworks grand finale lit up the sky as images of Pan Am athletes were transposed upon the ceiling.

Alejandro, Alejandro...

All in all, this has to be the most incredible thing I have ever seen in person. As for TJ, his Facebook status Saturday morning said the following:

"Night of the Panamerican Games Opening Ceremony...

The best night of my life. It was a childhood dream come true."

Yeah, I rock.

TJ and I have both been fans of the Olympics for as long as we can remember. TJ loves telling stories of how he would fake illness during his younger years so that he could stay home from school to watch the winter games. He even managed to attend an event or two for both the 1996 Summer and 2002 Winter Olympic Games

And me? My parents, long ago in what honestly feels like another lifetime, once promised to send me to Australia for the 2000 Summer Olympics in Sydney. I am sorry to say that it never happened.

But all is forgiven. My parents, famous for promising trips to Walt Disney World that never happened, thus inspiring my eventual move to Orlando, where I met TJ, who wanted to start a life in the Foreign Service, resulting in my move to Mexico, where I am at the very heart of the Pan American Games...well, I guess they got me to the games after all.

Guachimontones

Heavy rains may have prevented us from taking in the sights of the local ruins during Patrick's visit, but on September 24th TJ and I, accompanied by good pals Pablo and Gus, kicked Mother Nature's booty from Guadalajara all the way to Guachimontones and back. Or maybe she just took pity on us and gave us a sunny day. She owed us. This was our third or fourth attempt, after all (Note to would-be travelers: Guadalajara's rainy season runs May - October).

As has been the case with many other wonderful places that we have had the pleasure of visiting here in Mexico, Guachimontones has been inscribed onto the list of UNESCO World Heritage Sites (July 12, 2006). Unfortuantely, heavy looting also placed it on the 2008 World Monuments Watch list of 100 Most Endangered Sites. I'm not sure what else is being looted, but I did read that stone is being taken from the site to build houses in nearby Teuchitlán.

So what is Guachimontones?

Good question. Nobody's 100% sure.

What is known is that this archaeological site, located about an hour west of Guadalajara, was home to the Teuchitlan society from approximately 300BCE to 900CE. The pyramids here are of a circular nature and are located within circular building complexes. It is believed that Volador ceremonies (rain dances that involve four people launching themselves from the top of a 30 meter pole while a fifth dances and plays the flute or a drum on top of the pole) were conducted here. It's origin can be assigned to the Aztecs, but that's really just a guess at this time.

At the current time, it's definitely not as impressive as Teotihuacan, but we can cut it some slack for being a newbie to the ruins game. The site was only found in 1970, with real research not beginning until1996. The site as it is currently excavated appears to consist of two pyramids and several platforms.

It's small, modest, and beautiful. All told, we probably spent only an hour or two exploring the ruins, asking Gus not to stand on the pyramids (or at least to not do so in such close proximity to the signs asking him not to), and hiking up a giant hill that we all swear is another pyramid waiting to be discovered...and yet it was an hour or two well spent.

If you ever get the opportunity, I'd recommend a visit. And please, do so before it's been ripped apart and used to build somebody's summer home.

Patrick Mans Up

Our friend Patrick visited over the Independence Day weekend. No, not the 4th of July. I may be behind on blogging but I'm not that behind. I instead refer to Mexican Independence Day, which is celebrated on September 16th.

Anyway, Patrick (You remember Patrick, right? We visited him in Houston last November.) was one tough cookie to get down here. He was a frequent visitor when we lived in Florida and even managed to pop up to DC twice during our nine month stay in Falls Church, VA. Yet almost a year into Mexico and we hadn't seen hide nor hair of him. I think he was scared. Hah. I know he was scared. He even went so far as to book and cancel a flight within an impressive 24 hour period. Yeah, buddy, I called you out like that. Much love.

I was able to con him into rebooking the flight by batting my eyes and saying "Please? I really miss you." Well, ok, so i think I might have said he was a bad friend and hella-lame. I don't remember. Either way, it did the trick. So how did Patrick fare in Mexico? Let's find out!

Arriving at the airport on Wednesday afternoon, Patrick was quickly whisked away for a fat slab of cow at one of our favorite steakeries, Un Romano y Dos Ladrones. We ordered a bottle of wine, three ginormous steaks, and a cold octopus appetizer. Other than the appetizer, a good time was had by all. Score: Guadalajara-is-Fun: 1, Mexico-is-Awful: 0

For Thursday, the plan had been to pawn Patrick off on a bus tour and have that entertain him until lunchtime, at which point I would send him home to wait on me until work ended. At the last minute I decided to take the day off, and boy was that a good idea. Thanks to the aforementioned Independence Day, streets all over the city center were closed, including the ones leading to and from the bus tour, which I think was itself closed for the day. We opted for a walking tour of El Centro, where we were able to tour Catedral de la Asunción de María Santísima and Mercado San Juan de Dios (two very impressive features of the city that will eventually make their way into this blog. We then stopped by Instituto Cultural Cabañas, where I was disappointed to find a boring church photo exhibit had replaced the Frida Kahlo and Diego Rivera exhibit of the previous month. Fail. I was able to save the morning by enticing Patrick with the delicious comida tipica at La Chata. He was also able to help Father Hidalgo rile up the locals and start a new war for independence, which was very exciting for him.

An evening of good drinks and better friends at co-worker Pablo's swinging new pad sealed the deal on a great day in the city. Score: Guadalajara-is-Fun: 2, Mexico-is-Awful: 0.

Friday was supposed to be a trip to Guachimontones, but that got rained out. Fortunately, it turned out, as Patrick deadpanned "If we miss it, I'll still sleep tonight." We settled for introducing Patrick to the joys of chilaquiles and then making a day of it at Zoológico Guadalajara, which I suppose was a better option, as Patrick had been saying for two days that he really wanted to go there and I had been halfway ignoring him. The zoo was fun, as usual, but the line for the safari was ridonkulous and we had to forego the giraffe feeding. But Patrick was very amused by our Lindsay Lohan sighting:

Hey...you were in "Mean Girls," right?

A fun addition to the zoo is a Diego Rivera-inspired mural at the entrance that features depictions of many important-to-Mexico items, including Los Gigantes. Score: Guadalajara-is-Fun: 3, Mexico-is-Awful: 0.

Saturday...now, Saturday was the true star of this vacation. For that is the day that we boarded the Tequila Express. What this means is that we hopped on a train bound for the Herradura distillery and started drinking tequila-based drinks at 10am, took a tour of said distillery, had a lunch buffet and more tequila, listened to some mariachi, watched some Ballet Folklórico, took in some Suertes Charras (National sport involving lasso tricks), and hopped back on the Guadalajara bound train for some more tequila. Yep, you guessed it: Guadalajara-is-Fun: 4, Mexico-is-Awful: 0.

Sunday brought a whirlwind tour of the artisan markets of Tonalá before a sad return to the airport. Patrick was observed as grumpily stating "I've seen all of this stuff before," only to find two things he couldn't live without moments later, bringing our final score to: Guadalajara-is-Fun: 5, Mexico-is-Awful: 0.

Since his trip, Patrick has maintained contact with some of our new friends here in Guadalajara via Facebook, has attempted and failed to find chilaquiles worthy of the name in Houston, and has vaguely talked about a return visit to Mexico.

So there you have it, folks. Mexico ain't half bad. We've now had two successful visits and nobody has left traumatized. If you've thought about visiting, please do. We have about a year left before a new adventure begins in parts unknown.

And as for Gwen and Patrick, the only souls brave enough to make the journey thus far?

Y'all come back now, y'hear?

California Dreams

Uh-oh. I've done it again. I've somehow managed to forget to want to blog. Bear with me as I correct this gross negligence and play catch up.

*Ahem.*

On September 1st we made yet another outing to Auditorio Telmex, this time to partake in some California Dreams with Katy Perry.

And let me just say right now that this...THIS...was The. Best. Concert. EVER.

In a move that was completely out of character since moving to Mexico, I did not bring my camera to the concert. This was partly due to the fact that I've been designated as the unofficial (i.e. not paid for my talents) photographer at work, and at any given time I find that the camera is at home and the charger is at work, or vice versa. Another contributor is that our new housekeeper likes to move things around. I'm talking finding-camera-chargers-under-the-bathroom-sink-behind-the-toilet-paper, EPIC moving things around.

So, on this night of nights with Katy Perry, I was forced to depend on the kindness of strangers. And who is stranger than my friends? Ha! Accompanying us on the trip to Candyland were our friends Genaro and Antonio. Both brought cameras. Both were very, very late in posting their photos on Facebook. Lame, guys. Very lame. Okay. They posted their photos two weeks ago. Half of the lame (and blame) belongs to me.

As I am wont to do, I pre-gamed the concert. You can infer from that all you want about my parking lot activities, and I'll neither confirm nor deny your accusations. But what I mean to say is that I Wikipedia'd the set list for the show in advance so that I could create the most awesomest Katy Perry playlist on my iPod.

Wiki didn't let me down, and what they showed is what we got:

California Dreams Setlist:

Teenage Dream

Hummingbird Heartbeat

Waking Up in Vegas

Ur So Gay

Peacock

I Kissed a Girl

Circle the Drain

E.T.

Who Am I Living For

Pearl

Not Like the Movies

The One That Got Away

Thinking of You

Hot n Cold

Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F)

Firework

Encore

California Girls

The show begins with a video segment in which a bored Katy is working at a butcher shop. She is fired for her lack of energy, and on her way home stumbles upon a bakery where she falls in love with the Baker's Boy. She returns home that evening, falling into a deep sleep where she dreams about needing to follow the Candyland road in search of her missing pet, runaway Kitty Purry.

Along the way, additional video segments and on-stage interludes helped to create a vibrant picture of what life within this innocent, playful, sexually charged (yes, you can be all three at once) Candyland is like.

Highlights of the show include:

• A character named "Slot," who's name sounded remarkably like "Slut," helping to introduceWaking Up in Vegas
• Mimes giving Katy a "special" brownie that hindered her good judgement, leading the way to Ur so Gay and Peacock
• Upon realizing that the brownie has turned her into a Catwoman, Katy mouthed "What-the-F---?", which segued into...
• The most incredible laser/light show ever during E.T.
• Katy riding a cotton candy cloud to the cheap seats, where she performed Thinking of You
• A dozen or so costume changes occurring on-stage during Hot n Cold, by way of sheets, boxes, and glitter storms

Katy is of course reunited with her pal Kitty Purry just in time for the grand finale. And what of the Baker's Boy? Why, he greets her with fresh baked goods just as she awakens from her candy land dreams, of course!

With its numerous wardrobe changes, tongue-in-cheek humor, lighting effects, lack of a political agenda, and (uncommon among other shows that try for the same) cohesive storyline, this is one show that I won't soon forget.

Nothing more to say other than that I hope this sees renewed life as a DVD/Blu-Ray release once the tour concludes.

¡TJ está enfermo! A Lesson for Foreign Service Families

I woke up this morning to the sound of something we all dread: the alarm clock. The next thing I heard was even worse. "Aaron...please help me..."

It was coming from the bathroom.

"What?" I asked.

"..."

"Hell-ooo?" I retorted, not wanting to deal with this (whatever it was) so early in the morning.

"..."

"Oh, crap," I thought.

I opened the door to our master bathroom to find TJ lying flat on his back in a pool of his own sweat.

He had begun to feel nauseated just before dinner yesterday evening. The trend had continued throughout the night.

Frequent trips to the loo, a couple of cold showers to beat the sweats, unintelligible thoughts, and chattering teeth. This seemed fairly normal to me. If there's one thing TJ does not do well, it's be sick. He's had food poisoning before, so this was nothing knew. Heck, I've even found him sprawled out on a bathroom floor before.

The new part was having all of this happen in Mexico. We've both been lucky so far. I've had nothing more than the occasionally irritated digestive process and TJ himself was able to beat back a much less severe case of food poisoning early in our stay here thanks to some probiotics donated by a neighbor.

But today looked like a trip to the hospital was in order.

Apparently, the doctor thought so too. Three and a half hours, three intravenous infusions, three abdominal x-rays, two prescription medications, and $500 dollars later we were on our way home with only one thought on my mind:

"Geez, I am SO glad that my Spanish is improving."

I had expected to be nothing more than the chauffeur for today's excursion...yet I often found myself in the role of interpreter.

When a family makes the decision to join the Foreign Service, the only person that is required to learn the language spoken at their onward assignment is the officer him/herself. Even family members that work at the Embassy/Consulate like myself rarely need much skill in the host language.

That's how we justified my continuing my prior employment while TJ attended his six month language training last year.

But what do you do when your beloved officer is incapacitated and you find yourself in a hospital encountering what feels like the first person in eight months that doesn't speak English?

You find out (hopefully) that your own skills have been improving after all, that's what.

TJ was awake, yet slightly incoherent. His 3/3 Spanish language ability meant nothing today.

"Usted tiene dolor cuando esta caminando?" the doctor would ask.

"Um. Otra vez."

"Usted tiene dolor cuando esta caminando?" the doctor would repeat.

"...um..."

"He wants to know if it hurts when you walk," I would say, to my own surprise.

This would continue as TJ was asked when he last ate, and if he had any allergies.

When TJ was taken away for x-rays, the doctor asked me additional questions.

To my complete shock and awe, I was able to effectively (if not accurately on a grammatical level) have this important medical conversation in Spanish.

But what if I hadn't been able to? And what if something worse had happened and TJ wasn't able to communicate at all?

That's the take-away today folks. If your family is joining the Foreign Service, it is everybody's responsibility to learn how to effectively communicate.

Today we were lucky. Next time, a life might depend on it.

As for TJ, he's recuperating nicely and looking forward to getting back to work.

Tesoro Resort

On Friday, August 19 TJ and I bailed out of work at 3pm, swung by the nearest Starbucks to pick up our friends Sergio and Gabriel (actual people, not nicknames for our favorite frappés), and set out for a weekend of fun and relaxation at Manzanillo's Tesoro Resort.

Located in the Mexican state of Colima, Manzanillo is a tourist destination frequented by the Guadalajara consular set. This would be our first visit.

Arriving just before sunset Friday evening, TJ and I rushed to our room where we promptly showered and changed clothes then ran to the boys' room to see who had the better view. They totally did. The jerks. The gorgeous Pacific Ocean panoramic that greeted us from their balcony was a stark contrast to the white concrete wall staring in from ours. Sigh.

Disappointed but not discouraged, we headed up to the 7th floor in hopes of catching the dinner show...only to find out that all the tables were full. It was suggested that we eat quickly down by the pool and come back up for the show, which would start in 15 minutes. Great idea, except there was a ginormous line outside full of ginormous people ready to get their grub on. So we settled for standing in the back of the theater to watch the show while filling our bellies with cheap resort booze.

I can't quite recall what the theme of that evening's performance was, but I think it was "Hussies." No, wait. It was "Decades." They performed hits from various decades. Get it? Clever. But yeah, I like my theme better. I present to you Exhibit A:

I swear by all that I hold holy, they are dressed in this hooker garb singing "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy." Seems slightly inappropriate. Or at least incorrectly themed, no? Not what I expect to see at the USO...

That was followed by what can only be called "The Future Trollop Parade," in which two adult women were brought out on stage to show three prepubescent girls how to strut on the catwalk. The girls then got their turn to show off, after which the audience voted by a round of applause on which was most likely to eventually get pregnant in the back of a Pontiac Sunfire on prom night...

Or something. My Spanish isn't the best and I was drinking, after all.

Next up were these fellas. They didn't look nearly as trashy as the last two acts, but they were certainly more exciting for the four of us. I'll give you one guess as to what they were singing.

After the admittedly horrible show was over, we all came to the conclusion that it had not been worth delaying dinner for. Then we went down to the pool restaurant to finally eat, ultimately deciding that dinner itself had not been worth the up-and-down the stairs routine from the previous hour.

We then headed to one of the restaurant bars, by which point we were all adequately absent of good judgement to allow Gabriel to talk us into entering a Hot Legs competition. I'm slightly mortified and will therefore not be sharing any photos...of me or TJ. Here are Gabriel and Sergio. Ha!

Saturday came and went with what can only be described as a huge improvement over the previous evening. The food was great, and so was the dinner show, which we managed to get into with plenty of seating to spare.

Saturday's theme was "Mexico," and it was chock full of spry young men dancing around in old man masks, ladies singing songs about Jaliscan pride (odd, given that we were in Colima), jump ropers, and Mexican hat dances. Nothing too negative (and therefore, nothing too funny, either) to say about that particular show, so instead I'll just share some photos.

But it was the daylight hours that made Saturday so amazing. Throughout my entire life I have found myself living within easy driving distance of one beach or another. And yet, I never went. Or at least never went willingly. Even our numerous trips to Key West came and went without toe touching sand.

And why is this?

Well, I suppose one answer could be that I don't like walking around with sand in my shorts. This much is certainly true. But with a shower and a change of clothes waiting in the room upstairs, that wouldn't have been a concern this time.

Another possibility could be that I worry about losing my contact lenses. Certainly true here, as I happened to be wearing my last pair. I've gone to get more since then, but that wouldn't have helped over the course of this particular weekend. Yet I dove right in, no fear.

I guess the true answer is that I've always been super self-conscious about my weight. That's something that I've touched on here in the past, and something that we'll touch on again in the very near future. I've always been too embarrassed to go to the beach. To go to the local pool. To go to a water park. That's the real reason, and I own it now. I'm getting older. No sense not doing things that might be fun due to some stupid mental block. So, I overcame it. And I had a blast.

And I can't wait to do it again.

Aurelio Atayde Presento: El Circo!

I cannot believe how many circuses blow through this town. It seems like you can't turn around without almost getting run down by a clown car. In fact, I think there are no less than two circuses in town right now, at least having the decency to play different parts of town.

Long-time readers may know of the calamity that was our last attempt at going to the circus, when we found out that Circo do Portugal was feeding stray dogs to their lions. Actually, I think the whole Internet knows of our calamity. For some reason, that post always trends as one of my most viewed. Bizarre...Hah. Notice how I linked to it, to generate more traffic? Yeah, I'm shameless like that.

Anyway, our friend Sergio invited us to accompany him to the Atayde Circus last night, and I am happy to report that I did see stray dogs roaming the area, including the circus grounds, so I'm assuming that instead of dogs these lions eat baby seals or something as equally undomesticated. But I don't know. Sergio seemed to know when the show was gonna start, and I wasn't about to try and Google this place for more info. I learned my lesson the last time.

Now, having not been to the circus since, what, 1987 or so, I wasn't quite sure what to expect. A cursory glance at the circus grounds revealed a Big Top, several animal cages filled with moderately cheerful (or at least complacent) critters, and a bathroom that cost 10 pesos to use. I would have thought a number two might cost more, but it didn't. Anyway, the place looked okay, but not great.

And I'm not saying that we walked across the street to the liquor store and bought a six pack of Skyy Blue then snuck back into the car and guzzled it down before the show started...but it would certainly make for a more enjoyable circus.

And, oh my, did we enjoy the circus. Not that that's a confession. But between us we did have to spend about 70 pesos in that damned bathroom before the night was over.

Prior to the show we walked around and oogled the caged animals. TJ even got to pet a bear. This wasn't exactly sanctioned by the staff, but hey, Yogi had shoved himself against the corner of the cage, and his head was facing the other direction, so what else was one to do?

"Smell my bear!" TJ proudly proclaimed, shoving his hand towards my face. Wrinkling my nose, I declined in a tone that indicated judgement for his foolish actions, while silently I was wishing that I, too, had gotten to pet the bear. I'm sorry to report that there is no photo of the petting in action. We're stupid, but not stupid enough to stick a hand in a bear cage and keep it their long enough to adjust the focus.

At the start of the show, using my best gringo Spanish, I asked an attendant "Puedo tomar fotos?" She said no, and repeated this unfortunate response when I asked "Y sin flash?"

Whatever. I took 'em anyway. Cuz that's how I roll.

The photos aren't great, but I guess we can't expect much when the flash can't be used (Something about distracting people and having them fall to their deaths, or maybe startling animals and having them eat somebody. Pssh. Like that's ever happened.) and the shots have to be taken on the down low.

The one thing I respectfully chose not to photograph was the five tigers squaring off against their trainer. They already looked like they wanted to eat him, and I didn't want to give them any more reason to do so. That, and the crew had erected a cage to protect the customers. Very considerate, as we were sitting in the front row (VIP, baby!) but it totally jacked with my camera angles.

I have some great memories from the evening though. The opening act was a beautiful aerial piece on the flying silks. And the aerialist was nice to look at, too. Same for the guy that did the balancing act. He totally shot a balloon with an arrow using just his feet. Though it took two attempts. I'm guessing that was to add to the suspense and is no real reflection on his mastery of said skill. The one thing that I'm not quite sure of is what all the animals in the cages outside were for. None of them appeared in the show...

..but Mickey and Minnie Mouse roamed around during intermission. I'm not entirely sure what they're doing down here in Mexico, but based on their disheveled appearance, I'm going to go out on a limb and say they've been having too much fun on vacation.

Or, we could take moment to discuss how normal it is in Mexico to find random Disney characters wandering around. It happened here and is common just about anywhere children are found en masse. Mexico knows where the money's at.

The three clowns were great, and unlike their painted faced brethren in the United States, these fellas talk. A lot. They were really funny, and their mannerisms would lead one to believe that perhaps they might bat for "the other team" in their day-to-day lives. You know. MY team. And one of them looked like he might have been just a tiny bit on the completely buff side underneath that ridiculous pants/suspenders combo. Whee! This isn't him. He's actually sitting under the box waiting to pull a prank on an audience member (The standard one-guy-can-lift-the-weight-but-another-can't gag.), but this is the best I've got. Sigh.

And, yep, as suspected, he was totally buff, as we found out when the other two got into a tug-o-war with him and ripped his clothes off, revealing a very flattering two-piece polkadot bikini. No photo of this, though. You see, I had just gotten busted five minutes before when I took the amazing camel photo you see to your left. I mean, what was I supposed to do? The damn things walked right up to us. The lights were on. The shot was clear. I knew I was gonna get busted, but so what?

And then I missed the beefcake. Damn.

Worse than that, I missed the elephant that came out for the grand finale. I LOVE elephants. And because I got camel happy , I missed it.

But Sergio didn't. I leaned over and said "Get your camera out and take a photo. Now!" And he did. I'm much too respectful to deliberately break the house rules twice. But I'm not above calling someone else to action.

What? Don't judge me. Fight the power!

Which reminds me. Where is Sergio with my elephant photo? Oh well, I guess this one will have to do...

Hey, if we can pretend that that's really

Mickey and Minnie, we can pretend

this is an elephant.